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sunflowersforme

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    Survivor

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  1. Hi Mitchi, Thank you for sharing! I have been in therapy for 11 years and it has truly rewired my brain and how I think, how I see myself and how I see the world. It might take some time to find someone you really connect with - it took me a few different counselors but now I have had the same one since I was 19 and she is really the only person in the world who knows everything about me and everything I have been through, and has never judged me. It's scary, sometimes I just sit and cry, those sessions are fewer and far between now but they still happen (two days ago for example). Sometimes I just want to listen and sometimes I talk almost nonstop for an hour. I will say, though, that it is easier for me to talk then it is to journal and I am still working on writing down my thoughts. I actually started writing my feelings into poems because I have been feeling so much and the words have just flowed as a result. Either way - I have found that getting it out of your mind and out into the world is so important, but I still have not shared everything that has happened to me to those closest to me and don't know if I ever will. I still struggle with shame and also with guilt - that my story is a heavy weight on the person listening. But those who love you and who support you will listen. You will share when you are ready, be patient with yourself and know that you are worthy of someone listening to your story. Even if that person is you, reading your story aloud and seeing it from a different perspective. You are worthy and so strong, even if you choose not to share ❤️
  2. Hello, I wanted to say hello and introduce myself - I'm honestly struggling with what to write because I guess I'm not quite sure how to introduce myself! I am a survivor, in many forms, just like all of you. I have been in therapy since I was 19 and am so grateful to still have the same therapist 11 years later. I thought that I was really healing and doing great (killing it in therapy!) until this last November, a new childhood trauma came to surface from memory and to put it lightly, it took over my life. I know now that it revealed itself because my mind and body knew I was ready for it and it was time. It has resulted in my needing to sever ties with a close family member and to maintain strong boundaries so that I can function on a daily basis and try to work through this which has resulted in a loss of support system during a time of big and stressful transitions. I see now that I will be able to feel like I am part of a community here in After Silence and I am grateful to be able to write this message at all. I look forward to sharing my story and to reading others' stories. I have always felt so alone in my struggles and the things I've faced and I hope to find peace and community so that I can continue to heal in hopes that one day, I will be able to help others as well. I am stepping into a huge next chapter in my life right now in other ways and I now see that healing will ultimately be the core of that journey. Thank you for being here. I really need this and I am grateful to be a part of it.
  3. LakeSunset, I just joined After Silence today and have felt very alone in my story, but your post was the first one I read and I am already relieved to know that I am not as alone as I thought. I had memories come to the forefront this last November and have been struggling, to put it lightly, since then. I am already so glad that I have begun to reach out for help and have found this community. I have a feeling that we will both find the peace that we are looking for and I am here in it with you. The work is ahead but I already feel a weight has lifted off of my shoulders just by typing this. Be well and I am glad we are able to take these first steps together❤️
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