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AlexAlex

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    Survivor

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  1. Just thoughts... feeling lonely. Don't know of it's my fault or my partner's. Maybe we're just incompatible. He works all the time I know. Im at home since covid. But i feel: - unloved - unseen - uninteresting - unattractive ... so many uns!!!!!! So what AM I? - caring (too caring) - insecure - accommodating (too accommodating??) - white - drunk - sad - pissed off!!!!!!!!! - lonely!!! - almost at the end of my God damn rope!!!
  2. I've been going along to get along for too long. I need to stop gritting my teeth through sex. I need to say no when I'm screaming inside instead of going through the motions. I feel like if I say anything to stop anything, I'll be left alone, because I'll be worth nothing as a partner. The shame is unbearable. I would like to think I've moved on, but deep down I still genuinely feel like my worth is purely sexual. Like depriving my partner is a cardinal sin and it is my job to please a man even when I feel sick to my stomach. Even when i already feel like throwing up, i need to swallow. I always feel like i just want to get it over with. How on earth can i start to say no? What will happen?
  3. Lonely and uncertain

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome,  hopefully stuff gets better.

    3. AlexAlex

      AlexAlex

      Yeah, I mean it's really not so bad these days, I've had a lot of therapy and im in a good place in my life. But sometimes the PTSD flares up and it feels pretty isolating. Still too ashamed to even get into this stuff with my therapist!

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      I'm sorry it's like that for you

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