Thank you to everyone who responded to this post. It means so much to me. The friends I lost I felt I was very close to. But, when I opened up about being raped and my sexual trauma their response was indifference, dismissive, and honestly apathetic. It almost felt as if everyone just wanted me to keep my unpleasant feelings to myself and to keep up the image that everything was okay. I began to re-silence myself. I thought that if they could not understand then nobody else would surely care. I am very glad to have found this community. I feel seen and understood. And now that I have started to open up to more people about it in my life, I recognize that they just weren't my friends. My true friends have and always will hold space for me my unpleasant feelings. I thought they were and I could trust them but looking back I am now able to see that they never really were. So @Minccinno65! I completely understand what you mean when you said you recognized it beforehand.
These posts provided me with comfort and I am in a better place than when I first joined AS.