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Alice24601

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Blog Comments posted by Alice24601

  1. 2 hours ago, SpaceCadet said:

    It's always good to strive to be a better person. But it's also toxic to be ashamed of who you are, in the now. Be careful not to fall into that trap.

    Just to be clear, my life is not everything I dreamed that it would be. Not at all. I am coming to terms with that, and I'm still pretty young (early twenties) so I am hopeful for the future. This post wasn't so much about shame of myself, but sadness for the life I lost when I was abused.  So hopefully I'm avoiding the shame trap : )

    Thank you for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it. 

  2. Pro tip, if you're trauma therapy goes anything like mine, they'll include your deceased mother anyway. I didn't think it was much of a problem or traumatizing, but we went through that as well as the abuse that brought me to therapy. If that does happen, you can tell you're family that you're discussing what happened with your mom at therapy and not be lying. However, this might make them start acting sympathetic towards you and trying to help with something you don't really need help with. Honestly, whatever you do in therapy is confidential and you can just tell your family there's been some things lately that are bugging you. If you're under 18 tho, I don't remember if therapists have to tell your parents if you admit to being abused. I know they're mandatory reporters so they have to tell someone. 

  3. 8 hours ago, BrightSide said:

    Hi @Alice24601 im so sorry for what you went through and for your struggles now. I was numb to it all until my teens then I was overwhelmed and depressed for 5 years. I eventually managed to just stay so busy and pretend to be OK, as you describe pretend it didnt happen that even I believed it, dispite the odd flashbacks i remained detached from it all. 

    Until i went to face it, Im doing this with the safety and support of a therapist and with the support of this community. I recommend you do not do this alone. When you start feeling those emotions again and the flashbacks and nightmares gain intensity you need people to turn to. If you feel like now is a good time to let yourself process your truama you should listen to this feeling, but try not to do it alone. Find a therapist if you can and keep reaching out to us. B

    Thank you for your advice. I am planning on going back to therapy after quarantine/isolation. For right now, I'm not comfortable with phone call meetings or online one on one's with therapists, so I'm glad I have you guys.

    Ive never had actual flashbacks, and luckily, I haven't had any actual nightmares for five years now. I do end up with uncomfortable, not nice dreams with him in it if I've been thinking about him too much tho. I just hope processing this doesn't bring back nightmares and that I don't ever have to deal with flashbacks, because I've seen what they can be like when my friends had them. Honestly think having an actual flashback should count as evidence in court, since it's not something you can make up. 

  4. 33 minutes ago, samantha2009 said:

    @Alice24601 your post is extremely relatable. Since this quarantine, I have been having invasive memories also. With that comes the natural dissociation for hours sometimes because my brain just doesn’t want me to go there :( you are not at all alone in this. 
     

    There are online therapies you can look into if getting back into that is something you would want to do in the future. I am not in therapy and not sure when I will be going back so please don’t think I am pushing you or anything, I was just suggesting if the memories become too much to handle alone :( 

     

    I will sit with you if alright?

     

    sam🖤

    I am planning on going back to therapy once isolation is over. And you can always sit with me or give hugs if you would like. 

    Thanks for taking the time to read my posts, it means a lot to me. 

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