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Alice24601

Member
  • Content Count

    21
  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Minnesota
  • Interests
    Biking, swimming, other water activities, hiking, reading books, video games, listening to music.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

625 profile views
  1. I just got an official PTSD diagnosis today. Now I can talk about triggers without being scared of the repercussions from people who think I'm just making excuses. So I am happy. My PTSD is not nearly as bad as other people's can be. There's only a handful of triggers that I know of for me. And I never have flashbacks. I used to feel physical sensations that were a repeat of my past, but I worked through that in therapy years ago. Not sure why I didn't get a diagnosis then. Anyway, my PTSD is very manageable (maybe partially due to the fact I am already taking medications for anxiety and depression) and I know I am lucky. I don't mean to brag, I just want whoever reads this to know I don't need any sympathy. I am just glad I can talk freely about my triggers and about my experience with PTSD without having people tell me I am just playing the victim role. 

  2. I was hit by a male coworker last night at work. I can't stop thinking about it and it's been giving me a lot of anxiety 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Alice24601

      Alice24601

      Ty. And yes. Hit my face. I told the manager and he said he would talk to hr

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      That is never ok. Hope HR takes this seriously and this guy is gone.

      :hug: 

    4. Alice24601
  3. Just to be clear, my life is not everything I dreamed that it would be. Not at all. I am coming to terms with that, and I'm still pretty young (early twenties) so I am hopeful for the future. This post wasn't so much about shame of myself, but sadness for the life I lost when I was abused. So hopefully I'm avoiding the shame trap : ) Thank you for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.
  4. https://youtu.be/Sx9RcI_EueM The answer to the question in the song would be no, it's definitely not.
  5. Am I the only one who feels safe and secure when I am in my bed and never want to get out of it? So much so that even at times like right now when I should be getting ready for work, I can't bring myself to get out of it? 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      I feel this way often, especially today. You are not alone. I have found that it helps to keep something on you (for me it can be a special stone or shell or stuffed mouse) that can feel like an anchor to a safe place. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way right now@Alice24601 

      Thinking and sitting with you as well.🌷🌷:comfort:

    3. Alice24601

      Alice24601

      @tuliptorn I totally forgot I had a worry stone in the set of drawers beside my bed. Thanks for reminding me. I also try to wear rings or some other jewelry I can fidget with when I go to work or somewhere else that might be stressful. Somehow I forgot about that too.

      Anyway, thank you for your advice and for sitting with me. :)

    4. Alice24601

      Alice24601

      @MeBeMary thank you for the hugs and support! Luckily I only feel that way while I'm in bed (usually anyway, some days are worse) but getting out of bed is always a struggle for me. Once I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing I'm usually OK, but then I go back to bed when I'm done, so Idk. I'll be fine. Made it to work today and it went okay. 

  6. Pro tip, if you're trauma therapy goes anything like mine, they'll include your deceased mother anyway. I didn't think it was much of a problem or traumatizing, but we went through that as well as the abuse that brought me to therapy. If that does happen, you can tell you're family that you're discussing what happened with your mom at therapy and not be lying. However, this might make them start acting sympathetic towards you and trying to help with something you don't really need help with. Honestly, whatever you do in therapy is confidential and you can just tell your family there's been som
  7. Thank you for your advice. I am planning on going back to therapy after quarantine/isolation. For right now, I'm not comfortable with phone call meetings or online one on one's with therapists, so I'm glad I have you guys. Ive never had actual flashbacks, and luckily, I haven't had any actual nightmares for five years now. I do end up with uncomfortable, not nice dreams with him in it if I've been thinking about him too much tho. I just hope processing this doesn't bring back nightmares and that I don't ever have to deal with flashbacks, because I've seen what they can be like when my fri
  8. I am planning on going back to therapy once isolation is over. And you can always sit with me or give hugs if you would like. Thanks for taking the time to read my posts, it means a lot to me.
  9. Thank you so much everyone for your kind and helpful words. I hope you don't mind, but I get too burned out emotionally having to reply to everyone individually so I'm just going to leave this reply.
  10. All these years I thought I was strong. I thought I was able to handle anything life threw at me, if I was just strong enough. So I played the role. And I believed it. I believed I was okay because the only other option was too hard to deal with. The truth is, I don't think I was strong enough to process everything I had gone through. So I threw it away. I got rid of my past and I made myself into someone else. The only problem was that I didn't know who I was. I still don't. I didn't forget my past, not entirely. I just choose not to remember it. Everytime I recount my history to someon
  11. Growing up, I was homeschooled. In third grade, my dad lost his job and my mom went back to work. So now my dad was in charge of my younger brother and me while my mom was at work. Everyday when he was done with his lunch, he would go to the master bedroom to rest. Since my brother and I were younger, he made us come in to the room with him so we wouldn't be unsupervised. We had to be quiet, and it was a king sized bed so we would just nap with him. This went on for a while and was fine. In fourth grade, my brother and I didn't feel like napping, so we would quietly get up and mess aroun
  12. Hi, I'm new here, so this is my first post. Just figured it would be good to have some support when I need it. 

    1. samantha2009

      samantha2009

      Hi @Alice24601! Welcome to After Silence :) We are glad you are here with us! 
       

      sam 🖤

    2. 8888

      8888

      Welcome Alice!

    3. snmls

      snmls

      Welcome! You can always find support here.

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