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  1. Hi All, As is always the case with me, in the beginning of the relationship i am very sexual, but after a few months I lose interest and it becomes more of a obligation than an intimate moment i would like to share with my partner. This has been the case with all of my past relationships. (I am also quite promiscuous when i'm not in a relationship). I have been trying to understand why i do this for going on 18 years... And i've hated myself for this behavior. Especially because i 'can't' control it. The thing is, I know that i was sexually abused by my cousin when i was 4 or 5, but i don't remember and i wonder if this has a lot to do with it? I have seen therapists in the past and at one stage i wanted to undergo hypnotherapy so that i could remember and deal with it and not feel crazy anymore, but she wouldn't do it with me and said that it might do more harm than good. And also, i don't feel it's helpful speaking to someone who hasn't been through the same thing... How are they meant to understand? I'm hoping that someone here has gone through something similar and could guide me in the direction of healing. I don't want to feel guilty or dirty or shameful or afraid anymore... There's a lot more to my story, but i'm not sure how to put everything in words right now...
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