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Lonelygirl13

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    13
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  • Gender
    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Thank you! I feel so welcome in this community and this means lot to me, thank you.
  2. Thank you, this means so much to me. You are so strong and inspiring, I am glad you were able to overcome your struggles. Keep on fighting, thank you
  3. I am still struggling. I have gotten more ok with what has happened to me. I am starting to normalize it. However, the rest of my life so far has been extremely depressing. I can't smile anymore, I don't apply makeup anymore because I can't just get myself to do it. I feel like everyone hates me or doesn't want to talk with me. I just feel sad all the time, I hate looking in the mirror because I hate the girl that looks back. Kinda like Mulan with her reflection song. I feel fat, ugly and uncomfortable when I go out because I feel like everyone is staring at me and is disgusted by me. People stare, sometimes laugh and I know that they aren't laughing at me but it feels that way. I am very conflicted with what I want to do with my career which gets me more depressed. So it is just a viscous cycle of depression and I am in the middle of the storm, which is according to the science the calmest part of the storm. But in this scenario I am trapped out in the ocean and I can not escape the hurricane that is surrounding me. I feel so close to drowning and the things that are keeping me afloat are my family, dog, and my boyfriend. I am so close to falling off this life raft but I am hold on the best I can.
  4. Thank you, those words mean a lot to me. I don't know why people don't support us when we support them. It makes me feel like I am not worth their time and they don't care about me. I am so glad that someone else feels the same way as me. I wish you the best
  5. I have read some comments and one said to ask your friends to write nice things about you to cheer you up. That is such a good idea, however, I have "friends". People who claim we are friends and don't show any signs of being friends. I am always there for them when they need it but when I need them they are no where in sight. Some people get upset when I call them out, but they know that they aren't being the best person they can be. I would donate a kidney to them because thats the kind of person I am. And I know they wouldn't even send a text to me. How hard is it to send a text that says "Hi"? I understand they are busy but it takes two seconds out of your day and you aren't even willing to do that for me. As soon as I ask them if they are busy they say "Oh yeah sorry I didn't text you I was super busy." and then they are out on instagram partying and hanging out with other people. I feel like I am unworthy of their friendship and they aren't even willing to send me a shred of support when I need it the most. I have told a total of like eight people about all the trauma and most of them are supportive. Others don't even reply to my texts and that is a shot to the heart. I just wish that I could get the support I give others
  6. Thank you! I hope you are doing better everyday. We can get through this like the strong women we are. I wish you the best ❤️
  7. Starting on Monday I am going to therapy again. I want the girl I used to be to come back, I know she is in there somewhere. I want to be able to paint, craft and laugh again. I just want to be able to do my homework without being depressed. I just lay in bed all day and then go to class. I need to get myself together and I can't let this trauma control my life. It doesn't define me. I want to be able to do things without feeling judged or alienated. Why can't I go out and have a good time without the memory of the trauma flooding my brain? It is almost like I am a prisoner in my own mind. I am desperate for a prison break. I bought some new lipsticks to make me feel a little bit better about my appearance, It would have worked only I don't get out much. I don't have a lot of friends. I know I need to get out more and experience life like everyone else. I shouldn't let this dictate where I go, who I go with and and what I do. I need to be stronger. I need to be myself again.
  8. I am struggling after being sexually assaulted. I was hoping to talk with others who have had similar experiences. I am very depressed, struggling in school and I am overall not myself anymore. I wanted to get an understanding of what others go through and how it affected others. I am not sure how this sight works but I am very desperate on what to do in order to heal from this traumatic experience.
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