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khake

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    53
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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. I want to stop remembering new things. Just when I think I'm done something worse arrives. I feel disgusted by the last few things I remembered. My abuser really was disgusting...
  2. Oh geez, I'm so sorry. That sounds like an awful experience and this person is despicable!! Sending you a hug and positive vibes if ok.
  3. @samantha2009 Thank you It's funny, a part of me is more disturbed by the things he said versus the things he did. agh
  4. Shut up. ------------------------------- Stop it, stop squirming. ------------------------------- You feel that? ------------------------------- Daddy likes you. ------------------------------- Did you start your period? No. Good. ------------------------------- I wish I could make you pregnant. ------------------------------- Finish for me. Good girl. -------------------------------
  5. I have a memory that I'm scared is real. I'm not sure. I have a snippet of me lying down, my head raised up to look, and I see my naked lower half with my legs spread and him pulling his penis out. It has some cum at the end of it and looks slightly wet. His gut fills the top half of the frame. I feel like my body is lying on top of something, because my vagina was at the perfect height for his hips and groin. Maybe a shelf? I'm not sure. I'm nervous that it's real
  6. @samantha2009 Thank you, hugs back if okay. I'm sorry you can relate, but in some capacity it does make me feel a little better that someone else also suffered from a teacher....
  7. Thanks for taking advantage of me. All I ever wanted was a self deprecating identity. Thanks for using your authority against me. All I ever wanted was a distrust in community. Thanks for raping me. All I ever wanted was a distortion of my sexuality. "Baby, baby, baby," That's all I ever heard when you treated me like some novelty.
  8. Hi everyone, I'm Khake (pronounced like cake), and I'm 24 years old. I recently started trauma therapy as a general tool for help, and I went in wondering what kind of trauma I really had. I grew up with a laundry list of problems...depression, anxiety, SI, isolation, etc. But I had a good home life, so it couldn't have been anything family related. Well, we explored some hazy but odd memories of a school teacher from when I was 10. Turns out, with the help of EMDR, I remembered more details and found out I endured CSA from my teacher. I'm still in the EMDR process and I'm kind of scared of what else I might find. My last session we uncovered things that happened to me that fit the US definition of R***. Anyway, some happier things about me. I love drawing, video editing, and language studies. One of my life goals is to become fluent in another language. The language I'm eyeing is Korean. I'm currently saving money to study abroad there for a year and take intensive Korean classes. By the time I leave for South Korea, I hope to have most of this CSA healed and put behind me....
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