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  1. Hello all! this is my first post and I’m just really in need of some support right now. It’s quite a long one to explain but I’ll try my best! 9 years ago I was raped by someone I thought was a friend but also a professional, as I was his customer at the time. I never reported it to the police because I was ashamed, embarrassed and felt guilty at the prospect of destroying his career in the process. So I kept silent for all this time until an industry magazine posted up on Instagram about calling out similar perpetrators. The industry we’re in is hugely male dominated and it has a deep seated culture of men abusing their positions of power. This magazine is attempting to share abuse stories from survivors in an attempt to raise awareness, but also calls for a change in attitudes. It was asking for testimonials, so I contributed my story anonymously. However I'm still worried my abuser will recognise the story and try to retaliate, or smear me publicly so people are less likely to believe me. I’m scared for the possibility of a backlash towards me, and the potential guilt that I may feel at destroying someone’s career. In the same breath though, he chose to abuse me, he did something horrendous to me, so why do I still feel bad about speaking up? really confused and unsure L x
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