Tura

Thank you for sharing this, it means alot to know that I'm not alone in this. I too struggle with understanding why or how things started, and my therapist has given some pretty good advice I think. Which is that first off, it's almost impossible for us to actually understand why we did certain things as kids, because our brains are so different now. But the best way to gauge it is to see how it's affected you. Sometimes memories of enjoying something abusive can be your brain's way of covering up horrific details. And the second thing is that because our brains are developing kids often automatically consider things to be their fault as a way to rationalize it. My therapist likes to use an example of how when she was a kid she wholeheartedly believed she could make planes crash, just because she was thinking about a plane crashing only to see on the news that a plane had crashed. I hope this helps, or even better that your therapist has already brought up these things.

That's awesome! I'm glad to hear. Yes I get that, for me in the last year my living situation improved dramatically, which had such a positive affect on my mental health that I've been able to say it. But still every time it feels like something being pulled out of my chest. And I know there are still things I can't say, but I mean it's improving at least.

I hope this isn't weird to say, but I am really proud of you for being able to get it out like that! Like god I remember having many therapy sessions spent in near silence. Thank you @Struggling88, you all seem really friendly.

Thank you @samantha2009, it's like I know I want to talk about these things and I keep trying to talk about these things with close friends, but I mean my throat sort of closes when I try. So a place like this where I don't have to actually talk is great.

Hi Somterzg, It's great to meet you, I've just joined as well. I can relate to your problems with exams, I'm in university right now and honestly I get so stressed out from not being able to focus on studying. I hope this site has been a comforting place for ya!

Hi, it's great to meet all of you on here. I've been at that point in my healing process that I keep wanting to talk to more people who have been through these things, and before I had found a discord server which was pretty good, it just allowed 13 year olds and it made me uncomfortable to discuss such intense things with kids reading. So I'm relieved to find a place such as this where there are more privacy measures taken. I want to be able to help others dealing with this, so I'm available to listen most times, I just know I'm still dealing with too much so I'm sorry to say that I think I need more help than I can give right now. Also I'm sorry if I make a mistake with where I post something, I'm pretty new to how forums work.