Houston

You said this perfectly. We shouldn't have to feel like we need to interrogate ourselves about things that were out of our control. You were and are completely blameless Sam.

Oh Sam I'm so sorry this happened to you. You are not stupid at all. This pervert used his position and took advantage of the situation. "I had entirely convinced myself though that these things weren't as serious as I thought, had to be an accident or something. HAD to be." I think the thought of something like this happening to a person (especially a child) may be too difficult for the mind to confront, so telling yourself it wasn't that serious may have just been your brain trying to protect itself from the reality of the situation. I think that your abuser being a teacher made it even more challenging to believe because he was supposed to be the adult, a professional, someone who was supposed to care for and protect you. Instead, the fucking depraved bastard hurt you. I'm sorry for this...you should have been safe. Sitting with you/safe hugs if okay? -Kim (sorry for the foul language... 🤐)

Of course! ….HE holds ALL the blame. Not you. It sounds corny, but be gentle with yourself...

Hey, Sam. I'm terribly sorry these horrific things happened to you. 😢 You should have been safe. You should have been able to just be a teenager. Nothing that happened was your fault. All the shame is his to bear. You are SO brave for typing this out. I know it couldn't have been easy. I'm really proud of you Safe hugs if okay? -Kim

@Empty Tears Hi Saoirse, I'm glad you found this site. I joined a few months ago and have found people to be very encouraging. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You didn't deserve that and it was definitely NOT your fault. I understand how easy it is to become closed off to people. Just know that you're not alone here. Take your time getting to know this site and know that there are people on here, including me, who are here to support you. -Kim

You are so brave for writing this out and keeping it up. I understand how hard it is to let yourself be vulnerable, and (I hope this doesn't sound too weird) I'm proud of you.

@samantha2009 Hey Sam, I'm heartbroken that you had to experience any of this. This guy is sick. You are not to blame for any of the feelings, reactions or actions that happened. It wasn't your fault. As a teacher he should've been someone who protected you. I'm so sorry this happened. Sitting with you & hugs if okay...

Hey @Dreamer24, I'm sorry you've had to go through this type of thing, but I'm glad you're reaching out & that you found After Silence. I got on this site a few months ago and have found it to be a good place to just get things out and allow others to encourage you. The people on here have been really kind and are willing to share their experiences/wisdom with you (if that's something you want). Anyways, just wanted to say hey and welcome you on here Feel free to message me if you'd like, Kim

Hey @Rileyyy, I'm sorry for what you've been through. I've struggled with suppressing emotions, thoughts, my past, etc...too. I joined this site a few months ago and have found it to be a good place to start opening up about the things that you feel you can't share in "real life" just yet. I also know what it feels like to think that your problems aren't worthy of other people's time, but they are. You have every right to be here and you deserve a place to start healing. Again, I'm sorry you have reason to be here, but I'm glad you found this site.

Hey @boxergal30, I'm sorry you have reason to be here. I joined a few months ago myself and have found this site and the people on here to be very kind and helpful. It's been about 20 years since the first time I was assaulted and I still struggle with it. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Of course, Sam, thank you