I first joined here 12 years ago.....woah that's a long time The reason I'm not using the same username is mostly because I've forgotten the login details and don't have access to that email anymore. I think the last time I logged in here was about 10 years ago.
But also I'm a lot different now, I don't always feel so broken as I used to. I sleep well, which is amazing for me-something I never believed would be possible. I also have a healthy loving relationship with my boyfriend and that's pretty amazing too.
There are some struggles aswell, I have a head injury now, which affects me mostly only when I'm tired( which I am now ) but for the most part it doesn't affect me that adversely anymore.
I think the biggest reason I'm on here is because even though I've got all of these amazing things happening, some part of me is shutting down-it's like I'm scared of it all going wrong -so scared that a part of me won't fully engage and that's the hardest part at the moment.
My boyfriend know's more about my past than anyone else and he is being amazingly patient but I'm scared that he will loose that patience because I'm struggling to pull myself back together.
Anyway, just wanted to say hey and it really is great to see this supportive site doing so well ❤️