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Starting A New Life

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    Supporter or secondary survivor

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  1. Welcome @ariaflynn27, this is the place to unload all of those things. This group is not judgmental of anyone. This site is meant to be a haven for telling your stories among caring individuals who only want to support you and encourage you. It pains me deeply that you underwent your ordeal. Nobody should have to go through that. But, to your credit, you have survived. Tell the people here what you need to so that you can cleanse your mind and body of the things that rotting. The young lady I am dating and hoping to marry, is a survivor like you. She is just now beginning to want to stop being defined by her scars and be identified by who she is. I am learning as much about this as anyone because I need to know how some of the triggers may effect moods or behaviors. So, as a secondary, this is just as vital for us to support you and her and every other survivor, but we secondaries need to support ourselves too with other secondaries. But start by getting you sorted first. Share with the group what you need to and make friends among other survivors. Draw strength from others who are going through or been through similar situations. I promise that no one will judge you for what you share.
  2. Hello, I am working on a relationship with a survivor of childhood sexual abuse from a family member. She has suffered for a long time and has carried that burden. As she begins her substance abuse treatment and hopefully her mental health treatment, I am trying to be proactive in learning how to be the supportive partner for her during her healing. For me, everything I do romantically, whether kissing, hugging or anything else non-sexual is spontaneous and natural. What I am having a hard time remembering is that what is spontaneous and natural for me can be more harmful for her. It is difficult for me to need to relearn that I need to ask if I can kiss or hug before doing those things. It is a tough challenge for me, but I am up to the challenge. What I am hoping to find here is: a support group for partners and additional resources for how to respond or assist with the healing process.
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