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Posts posted by Dawn76

  1. @jazz101

    Hi Jazz, welcome to AS, I'm so sorry for what has brought you here.  I hope you're finding your way around the site and feel comfortable posting when you're ready.  There are wonderful supporting people here ❤

    I was your age when I found myself looking for a place to talk and feel safe, like After Silence. I'm 44 and have Daughter close to your age.  If you'd ever like to talk i'm here. 


  2. Thank you all for the amazing suport. 

    It's been a bit of a crap week. A program i was refered it turned me down for intense trauma based counseling. They only accept patients who have gone through vitims services, a branch of the police department here in my province. I didn't go to the police when it happened. So i didn't go through victims services. Had i known there was so much more help available i may have changed my mind about reporting it.  

    Now with my father ill, my daughters health in question, and only some of my family knowing, i was told i can still repirt him. My father doesn't know, and my brother doesn't know. They would be so hurt by my not telling them, and having only my sisters and mom know. They wouldn't forgive me and i dont know what the stress would do to my dad.  

    Sometimes i really question my life choices . 

  3. Thank you for replying, it's nice to be back in a safe space where others understand how I feel. 

    I'm hoping with time phone sessions will become easier, i find it so hard to read a person, without seing their face. I think i often take things the wrong way when i don't have that face to face interaction. Although i think i do it with emails as well.  My counsellors last email yesterday had the expression " sometimes you can be like a dog with a bone"  i have no idea if that's good or bad! My instant reaction is omg she thinks i'm a dog...obviously i should know better right? My second instinct is to think that she must see me as this annoying woman who asks too many questions and doesn't stop untill i'm satisfied with an answer.  I don't know if thats good or bad? 

    My daughter has something called Dysautonomia and POTS.  Her autonomic system, that controlls almost all functions in a body, doesn't work the way it should. There is a long list of daily symptoms, but each day changes. One day she can be working and going out with friends full of energy, the next day she is bed ridden and can't function. The news this past week wasn't good. Her kidneys aren't working to filter her blood, and they don't know why.  Im scared for her, this isn't something Mommy hugs and snuggles can fix. I feel like I'm failing her. 

    Thank you for the good thoughts towards her and my Dad. I was able to talk to him tonight. He didn't really understand me , so i just let him talk and enjoyed listening to him. We can't visit him in the hospital, they wont allow non patients in because of covid. So it makes it hard on him to not be able to see my mom or his kids. 

    Thank you for sitting with me, it was a comfort to know you're there. ❤

  4. Hi everyone. I'm not new here, I've been gone for a few months, but I'm back, alot of new names, I'm sorry for what has brought you all here. 

    I thought I was doing ok, I thought i was handeling life ok, not great but ok. I got myself through day to day life in one piece, and have been there for my daughter and her health struggles.

    My counselor had her own mental breakdown and was gone for 6 months, she's back now, but i don't know if it feels the same. I don't blame her for breaking down, even the strongest of people break eventually when too much is thrown at them. For her she tells me she cares too much and forgot about her own self care. So i think it's been making it feel more distant, not to mention the phone call appointments are all we can have now, we're still in a lockdown. 

    I'm rambling I'm sorry, my mind is pretty scattered lately. My daughters health is getting worse, my father is in the hospital and i feel like im losing my shit, and im not ok, i can't keep it all together. My panic attacks are hitting me out of nowhere now, and sleeping is pointless, my mind just doesn't shut down. 

    The only good news is my monster has moved away, and i wont have to see him again. Or be afraid to see him. 


    4 hours ago, ariaflynn27 said:

    Hey everyone, I'm new here. 

    I just needed to find something where I could get it all out of brain so it will stop rotting me away, people who won't judge me. I hope I'm doing everything right. I just need to get my stories out of my head. 

    Welcome to AS @ariaflynn27,

    I'm sorry for what has brought you to AS. I hope you find the support you need. When you're ready to share your story no one will judge you. It's a safe place to let things out. 



    2 hours ago, Audra said:

    I’m a 24 year old female. I’m just trying to reach out to someone, anyone, who would like to share stories and see if we could help each other. I had a trauma happen in July of this year and I just need some more help. 

    Welcome to AS Audra, I'm sorry for what has brought you here. 

    Sitting with you, sending you safe hugs if it's ok? 



  7. @cymagray,

    I'm sorry for what you've been through. Like @8888 said it makes sense that you are nervous. It's hard to make that first connection and show your vulnrability. It takes a lot of courage for someone to come forward and admitt what they have been through. 

    AS is a wonderful place to find people who understand and who you can talk to without fear of  judgement. Share if and when you're ready to, as much or as little as you're comfortable with.  



  8. 7 hours ago, Sketcher said:

    I am new here. And not good at talking in person. So I’m in hope writing something might be useful but I’m not feeling very hopeful about much right now. I’m not in a good spot. 


    Welcome to AS, I'm sorry that you are struggling right now.  

    I hope you can find some peace in knowing this is a safe place to share what you are feeling , and there are some wonderful people here who are willing to sit with you and listen, or offer safe hugs and encouragement. 

    Sitting with you, if you would like. 


  9. 17 hours ago, Sign42 said:


    I’ve had this account for a while but never interacted with it because I wasn’t ready. I’m ready now and I’m hoping to find new friends and find good support!

    Hi, and welcome. The people here are so amazing and so suportive.  

  10. Thank you both for your kind words.  I am greatful there is a place to come to am tell my story.  I have a counselor. Shes amazing but she can only do so much to help me. 

    Here i know there are others that are like me. That know how it feels and can understand. 


  11. Hi everyone. I'm new here and just learning my way around. Forgive me if i've placed this in the wrong area. 

    I'm a survivor, at least i'm trying to be. I hate the word victim.  I am hopeing to find people to talk to that have been in my situation and can offer support and understanding.   Thank you for allowing me to join your community. 

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