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About redmess

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  • Birthday October 14

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    Reading, my cat,

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  1. redmess


    Thank you all. I already feel more welcome than I have for a long time. Need to remind myself that crying is OK, happy tears.
  2. redmess


    Hi, my name is Anna. I am 55 and a bit years old and this is the first time I have done something like this. Not tell my story, but go online and join a group like this. I guess I still need to know that others have similar stories to me and that coping is coping, even when you feel you're not doing so well. Just still being part of the world is coping. My story, like so many others, started many, many years ago. Long story short - after much time I discovered that I was NOT the only family member effected by childhood sexual assualt, and we (the survivours) are taking perp' number 2 to court. Prep' 2 because there was a perp' 1, for me anyway. In fact prep' 1 is long dead and I was the only one 'old enough' to interest him. For many years I forgot all about the other one and sadly, due to my fractured recall I am only supporting the others in court because I have nothing 'concrete' to state for myself. Prep' 2 (as I will call him) has molested 7 members of his family that we know of. I don't think I need to tell anyone about how this is causing chaos within the whole family. I remind myself daily that we are all doing what is right, for us, and that is what matters. Even though I sometimes feel that I am not doing so well at "surviving" I want everyone to know that YES you can, and YES healing is painful and hard (so hard you feel you will break) but if I can start after 40 years I hope anyone can when they get support and caring they need. Oh, and sometimes it is OK not to be OK. The struggle is long and somtimes breaks are needed. One step forward, two back and three side ways is still ONE STEP FORWARD.
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