After i started working through the emotions i was triggered every time i spoke about it. Espesialy after a therapy sesion. Then i fell into a very deep depresion mood from which i struggled to get out of. Most of the times i was so depresed i tried killing myself. Every time it did not work and only landed up in hospital. There was where i found myself most of last year.
After i started writing down my feelings i realy started coping better. A few days back i spoke to dad, the abuser, and again it triggered the feelings but i realy coped well. For a day or two i was down and then i desided not to let him control my life any more.
I am going to start hipnothearapy to try and remember wat exactly happed during the abuse. My thearapist is not sure this is the way to go, because of my previous reactions, but i will never know if i don't try it.