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kmdiamond17

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    73
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    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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184 profile views
  1. There's no way back

    Processing things is really hard. Thank you for the offer. I don't know if there is. It's a really hard time but I think I just have to grit my teeth and get through it. Safe hugs, if okay
  2. 'You have to get up and face them every day. You have to pretend he didn't hurt and destroy you the night before. Look into his eyes. Watch him grin. You have to be nice to him. You have to let him hold you in his arms and tell him that you love him.' 'No one helps you. No one comforts you. No one tells you it's not okay. No one stops there. No one cleans up your blood. No one'
  3. It's so wrong

    @Field8 Thank you. Thank you for sitting with me. It is pretty fucked up though you gotta admit it.
  4. There's no way back

    I think it's just too far. I've gone too far. There's no bringing me back anymore *this is not a suicide threat or anything like that don't worry*
  5. It's so wrong

    I can't stop it. I can't stop making myself bleed. It's getting worse, it's running down my legs just like when I was child. I don't know why I do it. But I keep doing it I need to stop. It's already so damaged It's so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.
  6. Hey

    @goldraindrops @Struggling88 @silentg @HiddenHeart @MeBeMary Thank you guys so much for the welcoming. It feels a little better being here. Thank you all
  7. Hey

    Hi, thank you so much for replying @Capulet I'm doing a little better than I was but I'm still having difficulty with some coping mechanisms that this isn't the right place to mention. I don't think I have been ? Unless I missed it somehow. I know that logically I'm not disgusting, but it still feels that way. Like I'm different from other people in a really gross way. So it's nice to be able to see people who have been through similar things - Not that it's nice that you went through them! Just nice that I found you to talk about it with. Thank you for being so welcoming. I'm gonna be honest, I started crying when I read it! It's overwhelming to be 'seen' after a long time.
  8. Hey

    Hey guys, I just recently had lots of flashbacks and have been finding it harder to repress things so they have been coming up a lot in my memories and really disturbing and upsetting me. I don't really have anybody to talk about it with. I feel very alone and I found this site and you guys seem really great. It's nice to have a place to talk. Sometimes people will laugh or make jokes or just casually talk about a lot of these things and it's hard having to just keep my mouth shut. And when I'm having a really bad day, nobody really understands and it's not something I can talk about with other people. It's not something like a family death (which is awful, I'm not trying to say it isn't), where you can tell anyone who asks that you're upset that day and tell them why and have them understand rather than just back away very quickly from the conversation, or just to say something nice but it's hard because you know they don't understand or even to imagine how it feels. It feels really bad and disgusting too and I feel very ashamed to try and talk about it with other people. Anyway just saying hi! I'm trying to make sure I learn all the rules, I don't want to accidentally upset anyone. It's nice to be here!
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