faeryblossoms

I am so disappointed in myself. I lost my job yesterday. I have had to miss days because of anxiety and I've started having flashbacks about a situation that happened last July. Due to this, I have to return my laptop as I can't pay for it now. That hurts the most as my laptop is how I feel most comfortable journaling. This also means I won't be on here as much and for that, I apologize. Luckily my roommate is letting me babysit to help me with income. Children seem to be a natural antidepressant. I guess now I can focus more on painting. 

I started my new sleep medicine last night and the increased dose of my antidepressant this morning. It felt strange at the beginning of the day as the sleep medicine(which is also an antidepressant) wore off in the early morning and the increased day dose started to kick in. Grocery stores, in particular, make me very anxious. I went grocery shopping with my boyfriend today for the first time in weeks. I started to get anxious and got clumsy which made it worse. I even tried to bolt back to the car. But I was able to calm down fairly quickly and made it all the way through the trip without having an attack. This is a small success but success all the same. I am actually kinda proud of myself. I was also able to go to a new place that was fairly crowded and did very well. I will post pictures soon.