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Ghost of me

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About Ghost of me

  • Birthday 07/04/1996

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    Survivor

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  1. I'm loosing time and it's freaking me out. Like literally loosing it. I'm not asleep at all. Or drunk. (I do drink but never go to that point and it's always at home.)

      I'll be doing something then it's like idk I "wake up" or something and I'm doing something entirely different and I don't remember how or when I decided to do it. It's scary. I've "woke up" driving before and not remembered I've gotten in my car even. I'm scared to tell anyone not even my roommate I'm afraid people will think I'm going crazy or have me committed somewhere. 

    I know I'm not asleep. Idk what's happening but I wish it would stop😭

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. EmptyInside

      EmptyInside

      The above information is pretty awesome and very sound advice! I completely agree with the idea of seeking advice as soon as possible from a professional.

      That said, I experience what you describe on a daily basis and have done for so long (more severe recently) that I’ve honestly lost all sense of time and the day, date, month, year etc are all a mystery to me! Trying to function “normally” or even just function at all is incredibly difficult but on the plus side, I know what it is that I am tackling and slowly but surely with encouragement and the right information from my therapist, I am learning to spot tell tale warning signs that it’s going to happen and if I wake up on a day and feel those warning signs.. I cancel any plans for the day and I move my car keys to a second safe location that isn’t somewhere I would automatically look for them... I’m no longer in the habit if driving whilst in a horrible state because that would be irresponsible. 

      What I experience is dissociation, dissociation occurs on a spectrum from mild ‘day dreaming’ all the way up to severe ‘DID’ and it’s possible to fall anywhere in between. C-PTSD carries a strong element of dissociation as well and that’s what causes my dissociation that so closely matches your description, I also have a partial diagnosis of a Dissociative Disorder (Not Yet Specified) but if/when I see a specialist that will become a diagnosis of DID which carries slightly different dissociative symptoms and they are all based around the fact that I have numerous insiders (alters).

      I would certainly recommend searching this forum for topics with dissociation in the title, you’ll find so so many posts from people having similar experiences because it’s actually a fairly common condition amongst trauma survivors because it is a survival technique and it can become ingrained in our everyday lives that means it can be triggered by many different things, anything that that triggers us or makes us feel threatened or even uncomfortable or unsafe can instantly cause us to detach from the situation and dissociate.

      Obviously I can’t give you a diagnosis but in my mind, dissociation is just what it is because you almost exactly described my life! The right therapist can really help with dissociation a lot and should be able to teach you lots of relevant grounding techniques to help control the dissociation.

    3. Ghost of me

      Ghost of me

      @Amsekhmetthank you so much for everything you said. The past few weeks have been terrible. I did get to my Dr and physically nothing is wrong so I am relieved there. I did tell her about the stalking that's been going on but I couldn't bring myself to mention anything else. I know she suspects more is going on. She gave me the number of a therapist to talk to and suggested I report it as soon as possible. If only it were that easy. 

       

    4. Ghost of me

      Ghost of me

      @EmptyInsidethank you for saying that:throb:  I'm scared of whats going on with me but physically nothing is wrong with me so that's a plus. I've always lost time but it's just been like "daydreaming" and never more than 10 or 15 minutes at a time.

      But within the last month and a half its getting a lot worse. I'm loosing hours at a time and it really is scary. I'll have conversations I won't remember having. I'll be somewhere else entirely and won't remember getting there either. 

      My roommate has brought it up too. She says I have conversations with her which I've no memory of. My roommate has noticed that I sort of "zone out" but I'm still fully functional but far away at the same time. We made a pact that when I do this she takes my keys and hide them so at least I won't be out driving to be in further danger.

      When you said you do this daily makes me feel better. I know I'm not alone and that I'm not crazy. 

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