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M. Member
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  1. Gordy

    More Random

    so I have been going to the therapist for 4 weeks now, we talked yesterday about working on recovering my lost memories. She thinks that I do have CPTSD but she said that there something else going on beside that. She didn't elaborate on that but I have to work on self care first though. Apparently treating myself as little more then an animal is not heathy. I will admit it a little disconcerting to have both my wife and my therapist saying that it surprising I am not a serial killer. That bothers me a little. APS in my home state isn't going to do anything about my brother
  2. Gordy

    2nd session

    Thank you.
  3. Gordy

    2nd session

    So I went to my second therapy session , I plan on doing this once a week for at least a year . we started talking about some to childhood memories and she had me walk her through a couple of them that I told her before about . and she asked me what emotions I felt when I recalled these memories . None . I went though the memory of me walking in the kitchen with that gun to shoot my stepfather . And she asked me "what emotions did you feel when you did that" . There's absolutely no emotion attached that memory . She asked me how do you think you felt , I said imagine fear and a
  4. Gordy


    Well, I went to my first therapy session. I think it went well. I going to go once a week for awhile. There was a lot to cover in a short period of time so I think I kind of confused her. Lol. Based on some of the things I told her she seems to think my stepfather was a Pedophile. Which I also believe. Just having these sessions seems to help. This thing with my mom has me stressed out. We still don't know if they turned the landline on and my brother took the phone I sent my mom. Or the nursing home give it to him. He texted me from my mom's cell phone. He "
  5. Gordy


    the other night me and my wife were talking about me getting therapy. And I asked her How are you gonna deal with me when I'm sane. Is she responded with" You're probably going to divorce me". No, that's not gonna happen. If leaving her and my kids is the only way the therapist thinks I can heal then I will stay crazy. That's not an option. She and the kids saved my life. There was literally no way the person that married her would of survived this long. Without her and my children to love me for me I would be dead, in jail or living in a ditch. and yes I told her that. My bi
  6. Gordy

    therapy hopefully

    I have a new therapy appointment on Friday. I hope.
  7. Gordy

    Appt canceled

    I got a call yesterday that the therapist I scheduled my appt with is not part of my insurance. The office was training a new person and they made a mistake. Since they are out of net work it's $4000 deductible then 50% per appointment. I can't afford that. So looking again. Having that appointment was really helping me to hold it together this week. Was quite the let down.
  8. The nursing home finally got the idea that I am allowed to talk to my mother. Just took another phone from APS. I told her I was looking into getting her a phone. Since my brother won't give hers back. She was all excited. Just can't get the phone company to understand just a landline. No internet, no cable just a phone. Lol We don't want her just sitting in her room. She needs to be socializing with other members of the facility. Later on I got an abusive drunken text rant from him. Attacking me and just about every other member of my extended family. Had to block hi
  9. Gordy


    I have my very first therapy appt Friday. Their still stonewalling me on talking to my mom. So between that, worrying my brother going to file a fake APS report against us. Being removed from the messenger group for update about mom. Trying too not stress my wife out about calling APS on my brother. The memories, thoughts and suspicions of what was done to me as a child that keep floating up. The depression and anxiety of everything that going on I am beginning to doubt I can hold everything together till Friday. There a limit to even how much I can take. And based on
  10. Gordy

    still be stonewalled

    I called the nursing home four time now. Each time there is a different reason my mom can't come to the phone. She playing bingo. No one available to get her, shift change, and tonite no one to get her. I left my name and # each time no called back. Tomorrow we going to look into getting a land line into her room. And I calling the manger to inform them I will be calling APS agian if I do not here from her by end of day tomorrow. Next is filing a complaint with the board that oversees their license. They damn near killed her by over medicating her. Then maybe the
  11. Gordy

    Got a call

    I got a call from my mother. She called on my sister in laws phone. We talk for about 10 minutes. She seem clear and lucid for some one in their late 70s. they were giving her an almost lethal dose of diuretic which explains why she was having all the hallucinations and memory problems . I've asked her to give me written permission to be on the Hippa list to check on the medication and treatment they are giving her . She says she will do that . . also asked her to put me on the list of emergency contact numbers . the nursing home she is in has some of the poorest ratings of the
  12. Gordy


    APS called , they visited the nursing home and there doesn't appear to be any signs of abuse or neglect. They say that the overmedication problem has been solved and will not happen again . My brother is not my mother's guardian , and even if he was he is not legally allowed to keep me from talking to her . the nursing home said that they will be installing a landline into my mothers room so that she can call me or I can call her whenever we wish . I called to speak with her this afternoon , the receptionist was a little pissy with me but went to check to see if my mother was available
  13. Gordy

    Going to be a long day

    I called the state ofice of APS just before close of business yesterday. They called the local office. They only got the receptionist but they were told someone would call me. About a half hour later some called. Was dismissive of my concerns but say they go to the nursing home when they got a chance. About 10 minutes later the caseworker called. She seem to take my concerns more seriously and told me she would go by today. It almost 11 there still haven't heard any thing. I giving them till 4 their time and calling them back. At this time I believe they going to do what they told me the
  14. Gordy

    48 hours

    I called in an Elder Abuse complaint to the county my brother and mother live in. I am concerned that based on some of the things she told me when I was allowed to talk to her and the fact that I am not allowed to call the nursing home now and my brother is controlling who she's allowed to speak to and when that she is being abused and neglected. State law requires them to respond to the complainant within 24 hours, it's been 48 still haven't heard from them. I called this morning to see what was going on and was told the person assigned to the case was in a meeting and she'l
  15. Gordy

    No win scenario

    my wife and I talked about what I did earlier ,filing an elder abuse compliant against the nursing home .she says I based on the information I have I did the right thing. that any who loved their mother would do the same. I feel that by not allowing me access to her records and not allowing me to speak to her with out my brother listening make it appear they are hiding something. my brother went on a text rant about it. saying I upset the staff, trying to guilt me for not being there the past years. angry that I dared to question him. telling me to come get her he will pack her shit .calling m
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