Hey all! I am new to After Silence. Just under a week ago my best friend told me that he had been abused when he was about ten years old by his 17 year old brother. I'm the only person he's ever told and the only person who knows. He's struggling with a lot of the typical issues like blaming himself and feeling bad for the ways he reacted to it. He thinks that it is his fault because he was too weak, too trusting, and too easy. He happened to share a room with his brother and still does, so obviously none of this is true. He was groomed and was only in that situation because they shared a room and he was the youngest sibling for his brother to take advantage of. He thinks something is wrong with him for having enjoyed that time with his brother and for reacting to it in the way that he did. Overall, he's doing exceptionally well and has even forgiven his brother all on his own but he tends to think that it's just him. He continuously compares his trauma to other people and says that what happened to him isnt as bad as what has happened to other people. He thinks his reactions to his abuse are abnormal.
I was hoping maybe some other men on the site would be willing to share their stories so I could show them to him. He isn't willing to talk to anyone but me, but he is willing to read other survivors stories and the reactions they had. I think it will help him to realize that the way he reacted is very typical and that it doesn't matter that he was trusting, it still doesn't make it his fault.
I would also welcome any advice you have for me as his sole support!! I know typically we aren't supposed to ask questions but he can't talk about what has happened very much yet and has responded very well to questions. He actually prefers them because then I know, and can know how to better support him, but he doesn't have to say the words.