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Sylvia1947

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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. Sylvia1947

    I want to die

    I just trying to start, but nothing coming out. It is so hard to talk about myself. I hate it. But got to try. All of this happened so many years ago. Some of it I was a little girl some I was a you women. Some I was married, But all is like jammed in me and its hard to talk about. It problem is not as bad as a lot of you. I was 5 when my grand father used to come into the bathroom where my twin sister and I had the touching done. I don't need to say more. When I told my mother she said, your grand father just wants to play with you. So from that day on I always kept everything to myself. It seems I might have come to the conclusion very young. I was molested more than my turn but different people through the ears.. It seems I was a target for that. Will be back another day. I had been sent to Hospital under observation, because of my Suicide attempt foiled when I was in my early 20's. they kept me only 48 hours but a 48 hours I could never forget. On that last day there a so called Psychiatric Dr. decided he wanted to test me to see if I was ok. The was to get in back of me a grab with is 2 hands and molested me by grouping me. I sounded very normal and not like a patient and noticed I was aware of what he was doing and signed my release. I kept this to myself for at least till a was 60 years old. I am a 70 year old women that still feels disgusted with anyone who touches me, weather it be y hand, my arm leg any where, wish exception my Husband, Thank God for him in my life. I will go on with my abuses. I was raped by my first husband that made me feel dead inside of me and those feeling I steel remember them so well. there are other times on the job sexual harassments where I reported it and lost my job. other times married men that I thought were friends groped me. I truest no man. except my second husband. I wish blessed with him. I actually I am glad I did this right now. I can not believe how it all just flowed out. thank you.
  2. Sylvia1947

    I want to die

    For me it helps to remember if all good things come to an end, So do all Bad things come to an end. I know it's easy said than to do but I say often to myself and it helps me.
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