First off, I love your username!
Secondly, I agree with everyone. You absolutely need validation. When i first starting working through my trauma, it took someone telling me that it wasnt my fault over and over again. Telling me that i need to call it what it is, sexual assault or r and not sugar coat it. It took someone telling me that i am exactly where im meant to be, and there was no rule book on how to work through it because everyone is different. Which leads me to coping, i cant exactly tell you how ive coped. But what i can tell you is what ive done to work through things. I'll message you, because being new im still unsure how much information you can post on these things lol