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Secondary Survivors
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About minkowski

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    A Friend
  • Birthday January 1

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    Supporter or secondary survivor

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  1. In the beginning I was so enraged with the whole thing, I didn't understand why she wouldn't see a therapist. I told her that if she wouldn't see a therapist, I wouldn't see a doctor either. I was stabbed twice. On my neck and right arm. The wounds infected and that is when I told her I would only go to the doctor if she talked to someone. She started talking to me. Alas, I was still very shocked with everything that had happened the days before. It won't happen again. I'm here talking about this with her permission, even though she says it is a waste of time. I kind of tell the story in parts here
  2. Yes, I promised yesterday I wouldn't do anything else without her permission. I did mess up yesterday. I won't take the role of a therapist, even if I was highly trained in this I wouldn't be able to be effective. Patience and a lot of Love. Read here for more details.
  3. Hi there! I'm also new here but not a survivor. You'll find good people here with whom you can try and find some solace. You're in the right place.
  4. I'd gladly give my life for her without hesitation. That is how I think, how I feel. Honour, science and loyalty. It's not only about that though, it's about true Love. Not the romantic Love, but the real Love for a friend, for an exceptional person. Ah, I wish you guys could know her. Or rather, could know her before all this happened. The "procedure" I was going to try was to expose her to everything that happened that day. Write it down, repeat it out loud. The problem with sexual abuse is that our brain doesn't have a spot for it, like it has for so many different things. It doesn't understand it. What I want to do is for her to acknowledge what happen and learn to deal with it. That is done by consistently expose her to her own interpretation of what happened. Edit: Socratic Questioning
  5. Well, I've managed to talk to someone, finally. You know, I kind of feel guilty myself for what happened to her. Things could have gone very differently in my head. It's not only friendship and love, it's a sense of duty towards her.
  6. Thank you for your kind words. I understand the trauma, physiologically speaking. I understand how the brain works after a PTSD, scientifically speaking. I just don't have the words, or rather, I'm afraid of hurting her mind even more by speaking the wrong words. I don't want to trigger anything that may make her feel worst . I've heard what she has to say. There is no way of convincing her to talk to a therapist. As I said, I could make sure she would have the best professional help in a few hours. She's as stubborn as she's determined and intelligent. I've known her for quite some time and I know for sure there is no way she will see a therapist. There are other reasons and factors behind her decision to not see a professional. Privacy. I trembled when you said there is no way to fix a trauma. I know it's true though. But I need to try something. I know it will be a long process but since I've wasted years of my life helping people I don't know, I will dedicate all my remaining "energy" on her and her alone. I know a complete healing is wishful thinking, but she's a strong woman and she's handled a lot of bad stuff. Thank you again
  7. Greetings, I am here out of pure desperation. I am a male, I am a scientist and I travelled all around the world, helping people, solving problems. My best friend is the victim here. She is the most intelligent, determined, compassionate and honourable person I know. Trust me when I say, I know a lot of people. I have a lot of knowledge about a lot of subjects, but I have no idea how to help her. I have been trying to talk to people, researching, studying, but so far I have had no epiphany yet. She will only talk to me. She refuses therapy of any kind and she could have the best doctors in the world to treat her. I've done my best so far but I need help. I desperately need help so I can save her life. She has already admitted she's losing the fight. I fear the worst may eventually happen. I need to know how people, women or men cope with such an assault on their physical and psychological integrity. I thank you all for having me. Hopefully I may be of some help to someone as well.
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