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Dakota101916

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    10
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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. It’s been awhile since I hopped on here. I found this support group app and it was really helping. Until I got trolled yesterday. A person I was talking to created another profile started talking to me under that one and then threw what I had told the original profile in my face. And honestly after everything I’ve gone through I felt violated. My anxiety hasn’t ceased since this happened last night. It feels like wherever I go people will use my past against me.
  2. This is incredibly brave of you. I admire your strength and courage and hope that someday I can be as brave and inspirational as you are.
  3. Believe me when I say I understand this feeling. I’ve been suicidal for 11 years now. After the night that my life changed it got much worse. I saw no point in going on. It wasn’t fair for me to have to live with this burden. I’m sorry that you did not find the support you needed. Just realize that you have an entire community here to support you. You are beautiful and you have worth. Keep fighting everyday just like I do no matter how hard it is.
  4. You made me crazy. I’ve always been depressed due to my bipolar. But you sent me beyond that. Blacking our while driving. Having such bad panic attacks that I felt I couldn’t breathe. You gave me PTSD. This past November I couldn’t handle it anymore. I almost ended my life. You almost killed me. My fiancé and best friend had to call the cops on me. I was questioned and handcuffed in my own apartment and taken to the hospital in the back of a police car in the middle of the night. I was admitted to the psych ward against my will for a week. I pretended like I was getting better just to get out of that hell hole. I still want to kill myself some days. The only thing keeping me alive is my family, fiancé, and my beautiful 5 year old daughter. I still don’t think it’s fair that I have to continue living with what you did to me. When do I get to feel the relief of death without the guilt of hurting so many people?
  5. Dakota101916

    Cut

    I understand this completely, the feeling of relief, the ability to focus on the physical pain rather than the mental pain. It’s only a quick fix though. I hope you find a permanent fix. That’s what I’m searching for now.
  6. I reached out to him the other day. I just wanted him to understand the pain he caused me. That he’s the reason I’ve almost committed suicide twice. That he’s the cause of my diagnosed PTSD. He said he’s sorry I feel that way but that it was both of our faults and that he loves me. I hated hearing him say he loved me because that’s not love...
  7. 3 years ago on July 4th was the night my world got turned upside down. My boyfriend was living in South Carolina at the time and he had asked his best friend to look out for me. We went to a 4th of July party and we’re having so much fun. His friend and I left with some other friends and stayed he night at one of our friends houses. I passed out drunk and woke up to my boyfriend at the times best friend having sex with me. I didn’t know what to do so I pretended I was still asleep. I woke up in the morning left and started balling my eyes out. I told my now ex boyfriend what happened. He messaged his best friend after I told him. His best friend told him I wanted it and that it wasn’t his fault. I told my boyfriend he was lying but he told me that he could only forgive me if I admitted my fault. At the time I was weak so after hours of denying it I finally said it was my fault so that he wouldn’t leave me. He “forgave” me yet whenever we would fight he would throw it in my face. Ever since that day I’ve felt so weak for giving in and saying it was my fault that he r*aped me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to heal from what he did to me.
  8. It’s even harder when it’s someone you trust and they basically tell everyone that you’re lying
  9. Unlike you I was sexually assaulted but I find myself in the same situation! My fiancé is so understanding and I can tell him anything but anytime I try to talk with him about it the words just won’t come out.
  10. I woke up so happy to see my registration was approved! It’s been 3 years of struggling with no improvement so you guys are my only hope ❤️
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