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  1. leosun

    We Broke Up

    @Hoping8 , @Capulet Thank you both for your supportive comments. I'm doing my best to keep myself afloat after this and so far so good. Appreciate your support always
  2. leosun

    We Broke Up

    Well, I did it. I broke up with Libra. It came out of a lot of thinking and a stable mind, thankfully. He drove out to visit, we had a normal night of dinner and our TV show (at home of course), and went to bed. When we woke up and realized there wasn't much to do (rainy weather, no close friends in the area), he became notably upset and aggravated. I asked him what was wrong and he just pushed it off as being bored and wasn't mad. I'll spare all the details, mostly because I've said it all enough to my friends and family, but overall it came out that he still isn't sure that he loves me. I ma
  3. This is such a great way to visualize the process! Still working on figuring out what kind of runner I am, because it seems to me I change my running style by the pace of life around me. When life was slower paced and more laid back this summer, I was able to make the most progress thus far in acceptance and self-forgiveness. Now that life is fast-paced again it feels almost like I had to put the race on hold for a bit, occasionally coming back to walk another mile or so Either way- this is so great for you and others to think about. Thank you for your post!
  4. @Adarasanderson Welcome!! I'm rather new myself but starting to get a hang of using the forum. So far I've experienced so much support and even just reading through pages makes me feel very understood. You are not alone here and there are plenty of forums to find just where your thoughts and feelings belong and can be supported. We're all here for each other whenever you need it
  5. Wow, this week has been a rollercoaster. The combination of 3 days of pure anxiety after my mom went into the hospital, starting new classes, seeing old friends and making new ones, I am exhausted. Luckily, I'm feeling very in control of everything right now. I am managing my time fairly well and preparing myself for balance in the future. I know it can't always be this relaxed, but I'm finally feeling some calm after a crazy storm of a week. Libra is coming to visit this weekend, and I think I'll know where we stand by the time he leaves. I hope it works out. Hoping for the best, expecting th
  6. leosun

    So. Much. Anxiety.

    @Hoping8 Thank you for your comment. The day was fine but it wasn't my best sleep ever. I appreciate your support
  7. Holy cow. my thoughts have been racing for nearly the entire day. I can't sleep, I have to get up for class in 7 hours, and I can tell this is only going to get worse the later I stay up. I'm trying so hard to fall asleep. Everything is racing and I'm so anxious I feel like I'm going to throw up. Everything is working against me in my head right now and I'm just going to explode if I don't get it out somehow. My mom's in the ER and they haven't sent me her CAT scan updates and I don't think they're planning to tell me until tomorrow. She may need surgery within the week and I have classes
  8. leosun

    New Semester

    I am officially all moved back. Libra and I have talked around some of his mental health issues, but not to the level I want. I understand he's not ready yet. But I'm not letting that get to me right now. Moving was so good and refreshing. I rearranged my room and didn't bring any unnecessary clutter and I'm feeling so ready to start this last semester and move forward with my education and life. I am starting to get stressed about my own time management (already), because working 2 jobs, taking 15 credits, being a TA for a freshman lab, doing research, and applying/finishing up requireme
  9. Moving and packing is taking up all of my time and energy right now- and it is great. I'm so glad to have something to focus on in this confusing weird time instead of being anxious. There's so many factors working against me right now but all I can think is how excited I am to be back in my apartment with my friends and getting back to a routine that I enjoy. I've been being brutally honest with myself about things I need to throw away/replace and it feels so good to get rid of the giant clutter mess I've accumulated since 2016. Nothing much else to update- gotta get back to packing
  10. leosun

    End of a Chapter

    @ihopetosave Thank you for your comment. It is a nice reminder to take care of myself when I'm trying so hard to take care of him right now.
  11. This may be a bit early to be posting about, but oh well. There's a good chance Libra and I are going to break up. For background, we have been together for a year and a half, 2 years in November. He is the first person I told about my story, and it happened a few months before I met him. He's seen me through every stage of this recovery process and was the main (practically only) reason I started going to therapy. I love him more than words, but it just doesn't seem like he feels the same way towards me. He has his own mental health battle and he is saying right now that he's not sure if it's
  12. leosun


    I’m back. I disappeared for a while when work got to be hectic and my schedule was just insane. This week was incredibly busy. Birthday celebrations, hair appointments, work presentations and sports games with family. I have a wedding later today that marks the end of the busiest week of my summer. But I am so so glad to be done with my internship, and it feels good to know I had a positive end and a good poster. And with all the crazy days, I haven’t had very much time to be upset or think about anything. I’m afraid once I get to next week and I have no plans it’s going to backfire and
  13. leosun

    So far so good.

    @Capulet and @Survivor0509Thank you both! I’m feeling pretty okay despite the circumstances today. Been treating myself and overall having a positive day. Avoiding social media has helped. Hope you’re both doing well
  14. I've been doing a lot of reading around on here and I really enjoy it. I think it's good for me. It's great to finally have someone else that isn't Libra or my mom comment back about my thoughts- and them actually understand. I went home this last weekend and felt a lot of built up anger towards my mom, and was open with her for the first time about how some of her words have made me feel. I didn't tell her the extent, because I don't want to worry her, but at least she's aware now that I don't feel in control and I'm doing my best to be in control. One of the only things I liked that I h
  15. leosun


    Wow. This is what I needed to see. I think it's amazing that you've reached a point of comfort where you can announce publically what has happened and your true barriers that make you stronger and deserving of so much greatness (as well as I'm sure the amount of work that it took to get the scholarship, of course!) This is something I've been thinking of doing a lot recently for myself and I hope you don't regret it. Because you should know that in doing so, you've helped bring at least one person a step closer to finding comfort in sharing their story. I'm proud of you. I can hones
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