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Hoping8

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Status Updates posted by Hoping8

  1. I am not doing especially well.

     

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      I'm sorry. Sitting with you. 

    3. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      Thanks a bunch @Finchy and @snmls and  It is very welcome. 

       

    4. Victoriamarie

      Victoriamarie

      Oh hun, do you feel able to talk. But also here with you keeping your space 

  2. I am out. I am living RIGHT ON THE BEACH in Mexico, and I have time and air and... safety??? It hasn't solved everything, but I feel very very lucky to be here, and to be giving myself a good shot at healing. And when I DO freak out, as I am tonight, I do it from the beach, with the sound of waves and the salty breeze. I wish I could fast forward to wellness, but in the meanwhile I will gladly accept the process... from the beach. 

    1. Doll6

      Doll6

      I’m glad you have found a lovely, healing place to live 

    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Awesome :) I am so happy to hear that you have a peaceful place to heal. 

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      That sounds like a lovely place to be. I'm happy for you. ❤️ Healing will still take time, but you are in a much better place to work on that healing process. Sitting with you. :hug:

  3.  I've tried not to post for ages, since hearing that my experience would deter others. But I really need help and support. My criminal case went horribly. It set me back a bunch. I don't want to influence anyone else, but I could sure use some support.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      Your AS friends are here to support you on whatever part of your journey you are on. Sharing your experiences is important, I hope nobody here has said anything to make you feel you can not reach for support here. Please do not feel silenced. Sitting with you for support and company if you would like? 🧡 B

    3. abhaya

      abhaya

      I am sorry that you feel your experience would deter others.  You are so worthy of support, and your experience matters and has value.  I know I struggle with similar feelings sometimes, but when I check in with the person I am afraid I've harmed most of the time they didn't even remember the conversation and it's just me beating myself up.  I wonder if that might be true here too, and that you're not causing harm at all by sharing what you've lived through.  My feeling is that each of our stories make us so much stronger together, even if they include ways that the system continued to traumatize us.  I hope you feel welcome here.

    4. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      Thanks for the backup. I've been in a pretty dark place lately. More than I ever remember from before. I don't plan to be beaten by this whole experience, but it has sure knocked me down. I just officially took leave from work--not my first choice at all, but work from home was removed as an option, sooooo.... 

      I can't say it's a shock that I am out of commission. I've been under stress for years, extreme stress since November, and unbelievable stress since early January. R****** walked on felony charges, is now back in my places, trying to cozy up to my people, threatening to sue me for malicious fraud or some such ridiculous thing. And since schools are back to full time in person, no matter what, I had to either go back and fail--physically, mentally, and professionally--or take leave. So I took leave.

      It feels horrible. I feel betrayed at so many levels, and I've lost so much hope. I am going to keep on trying, but this is new territory for me, where I literally do not know what to do next; where to go next.

  4. I could really use your help in "coming back" from a long time in the court. I suspect I can do it, but it is hard and challenigng.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sitting with you, Hoping. ❤️ *sends you support and safe hugs if you'd like*

    3. Poppy_

      Poppy_

      Sending loads of support, my friend! :throb:

    4. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      Thank you. I am moving really slow, and feel really... injured, I guess? I hope it will start to shift soon.

  5. Of all things, my Counselor came out with a random beef, and threw my advocates under the bus too. I want to keep pushing forward with criminal and civil cases, but every step seems to bring ugly obstacles. I am getting worn out.

  6. I think I just quit my job.  

    1. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      How are you feeling?

    2. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      Literally sick.  Like chills and vomiting.  That’s partly the r Aston for the job thing—I have been having a hard time staying healthy with the court stuff, and my principal is a bully.  She was saying hateful stuff to me and I just took the week off.  Wrote to HR.  I’ve reported to them repeatedly already.  Idk, not what i want, but i am tired of being abused at work.

  7. I am thankful for all of you.  Lightness and optimism coming your way!

  8. I am feeling a little desperate.  Exhausted and stretched too thin.  

    1. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      I know...I hear you. I hope things level out for you soon. :throb:

    2. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      Thank you.  

      Just, thank you.

  9. Hi @alltheseyears, I am following your comments because there are some similarities in our experience.  I wish you power and patience as you move through this.  

  10. Nothing is really up—in fact, things have been pretty calm for a week or so.  And yet, I feel like crying.  WTH, emotions!!??  

    1. Capulet

      Capulet

      I'm sorry! :( Hate when there's emotional turbulence!  I hope it passes, soon.

       

    2. Kmkz

      Kmkz

      If you feel like crying, I say, if it's safe, let it out. I'm sure there's a reason for it and it's trying to process by itself. Take care and hope it settles soon.

    3. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      Thanks @Capulet and @Kmkz  I appreciate hearing from you both.  I find myself processing a lot more than I expected since joining this site, and I think it just stirs general sadness and empathy for myself, and for all of you.  It also stirs pride and fierceness.

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