I am new to “After the silence.” I was date raped only a month ago. This has been quite the roller coaster ride. I feel empowered talking of my experience and then I feel as low as I have ever felt. I have experienced sexual abuse as a child, however there is so much I cannot remember from my childhood that I have come to accept my past. As a 43 year old woman, date rape was never on my radar. I never even imagined this could happen to me. I have a almost 16 year old daughter that has been my rock! Through this I have always been a helicopter mom and never could tell her why. I just told her that I had bad things happen to me as a child and that I would do my very best to be understanding of where she is in her life and not rob her of her childhood. She has always been understanding and was able to talk to me when I would not allow her to do something. I have done well to listen to her and realize that maybe sometimes (ok most of the tome) I was allowing my past to dictate my anxiety of her life. Now I only live in fear not only for myself but for her life. I can’t seem to bring myself to even want to look for a job. I am a BSW ( bachelor of social work) and know from my education the way I should be and what I should be. I can’t seem to do this in my own life. I hurt to my core. Life has a way of bringing you to your knees no matter who you are and what your education level is or what your education may be in. I came here to find support. I hurt! I cry! I am empowered! I have a story to tell! I am scared!