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Everything posted by Capulet

  1. To anyone who needs to hear this…. ❤️ When we come face to face with trauma, Knowing what to do doesn’t exist. There are no answers as to why. There is no instruction manual or guidance. Some of us didn’t tell anyone. Some of us did. Some of us didn’t have a choice. Some were brave right from the start. Some of us took a while to get there. For some, trauma is new. For others, it is old but feels new. For some, danger still exists. But we all dealt with it in the best we knew how to. Some said it was the wrong way. Some said we made it worse.
  2. Welcome to AS, I am hopeful that being among those who understand is a game-changer for you. It was, for me! Wishing you strength, healing and positivity! Best, - Cap
  3. Capulet


    Good morning Katia, and welcome to After Silence! Wishing you all of the best, today and always. 🙂 Please feel free to look around at your own pace and to contact a staff member if you have any questions or concerns about the site and how to navigate it. You are among friends and are not alone! 🩷
  4. @Doll6 - thank you! She had a very emotional week...she's been extra clingy...usually he was at my house every day after school and they would be watching movies together and sometimes cook together...she has been trying to adjust to being without him and has been hanging out with me - I am secretly enjoying that part but am sad for her. I just let her talk and I listen - and I make sure she eats, gets some sleep. They still talk and communicate via phone - she continues to make me proud and has quelled my concerns that they'd get back together by saying she'd never consider it - she feels
  5. I'm both proud and disgusted with myself this afternoon. My daughter, who is a couple months shy of seventeen, texted me this morning, letting me know that she ended her relationship with her boyfriend of over a year. They got together at the very beginning of December, 2021, so it's been a while. A while of this young man coming to my house after school every day, walking in and out as he pleased, eating my food, drinking my sodas, coming along with us whenever we tried to do a 'family' thing - (the daughter and I have had many a quarrel over his tag-along status over the last year) and
  6. Welcome, @dancergirl217!! Although I am sorry you are here by circumstance, I am hopeful that you will find tons of support here. You should hear from a member of the Newbie Support Team soon. In the meantime please feel free to look around and browse our many forums at your most comfortable pace. There is a lot of helpful information here. Wishing you all the best in your healing process! - Cappy
  7. Welcome to AS, Naomi - hoping that being among others who can relate proves to be healing and comforting. Best wishes always!
  8. Welcome, @Broken But Beautiful!!! I am glad you are here but sorry it is under these circumstances. I hope that this community can provide you some comfort. Wishing you all the best!
  9. Ughhhh.  I have a terrible cold.

    (Also what I said to get out of going to a therapy appointment a few years ago.)

    This time, it’s true!

    Hoping you all are having a good day. ❤️

    1. Doll6


      Hope you feel better soon cap 

    2. Capulet


      Thank you, all.  I am hanging in there.  I am glad my weekend starts now - and will last four days!  I plan to rest as much as possible and be the best couch potato I can possibly be.  

    3. Doll6


      Sounds like the perfect plan @Capulet

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  10. Good morning @Petunia18 - welcome to After Silence, where so many others can truly relate. I agree it is very scary when we try to put into words how trauma has affected us long-term. There is no right or wrong way to do it - as long as you take it at your own pace and are comfortable. Take as much time as you need to look around and browse our community. I am sorry you have reason to be here but do hope that this wonderful group of survivors can provide you with comfort and validation! Best wishes, - Capulet
  11. Welcome to AS, @Broken Zero. I am hoping we can be a healing resource for you. Please take your time looking around and jump in wherever you feel comfortable. Best wishes and again, welcome! - Cap
  12. It does!!! And you're right, these things will certainly shape you....especially if you are young when you first collide with trauma. Some people have unfortunately not had time to adapt to a life trajectory; trauma is all they really ever knew and understood. I know that's infuriating when you think about it. You're correct, though - the version of yourself that just is - does the absolute best you can. There's no way of knowing what an alternate universe/life path would have offered - for sure its own set of trials and challenges that I'm sure you would have tackled with the same s
  13. @Doll6 - thank you for reading and for responding. While I am sad that you, too, can relate to some of these, your reply is truly validating and I truly appreciate your making me feel a bit less alone in these. Know that if you ever need to reach out, I am always willing to listen. I’ll only accept the title, ‘kick-ass survivor’ if I can share it with you all. 😉 We are, after all, in the same boat, trying to cross the same ocean, weathering similar, if not the same elements. Hang in there - and again, thank you. ❤️
  14. Hi, AS Family! I miss journaling. I really do. I’m first of all, thankful that there is some downtime at work where I can do some writing. Today is such a day and I’ve had a few somethings to ponder, lately. I often read posts that leave me nodding my head in agreement or in silent understanding. Or, of course, feeling as if I could have written these words, myself. While it’s kinda daunting at times, it’s also one of the many benefits of group healing. How validating it is, to be told that I am not the only one with these thoughts - that one or two or more of these are running
  15. Welcome, @Pressured_ to AS. I’m sorry to learn of the circumstances that have led you to this community but hope that being here among others who understand will bring you some clarity. Wishing you all the best in your healing process! - Cap
  16. Welcome, @ZaaZaa to AS. Please make yourself at home and don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything. I sincerely hope that being here brings you peace, comfort and healing. Best wishes, Capulet
  17. @Pink Sky - so sorry for the delay in responding to this! I think I opened it while I was at work and kept forgetting to come back. Boy, am I tired.... (And I just had a four-day weekend!) Anyway - I like how you summed up the entry. It really does come down to boundaries and putting them in place for protection. On that, I will forever be a work in progress. I'm definitely not in a hurry to set them because I feel the need to first gauge where there is a need for firm boundaries and where I have enough trust in myself and others. Thank you for your words, friend, and for
  18. Capulet


    Welcome to AS, @zerostars! Happy to have you here. I'm so sorry you have reason to be, but I do hope you will find us to be supportive and resourceful. Wishing you all the best! - Cap
  19. Hi, @Peace Lilly and welcome to AS! You're right on point with your introduction. I'm so glad you are here for support - this is a very kind and loving community and our members certainly are wonderful. I hope being here brings you peace and comfort and of course, healing. I am sorry for your loss of your fiance. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I am sure nobody here can fill that void, but we definitely hope to make you feel less alone. Sending you all my best, - Cap
  20. That’s absolutely preposterous and not true!!! Deaf people may not be able to hear but most are capable of speech - tho for some it is difficult and most prefer to use ASL or another form of silent communication on account of it being more comfortable/normal for them. No one should be penalized for that. I’m sorry for your client. When I was a baby, my parents were told that I would not speak. In order to speak correctly, you needed to be able to hear correctly, at least this was the theory back in the late 1970’s. My mother was determined to prove them wrong and I had YEARS of spe
  21. @GreySock - absolutely! She still tries to speak for me. I was also six years old at the time, and in speech therapy, needed to rely on lip reading….(still do!) and my mother was one of the only people I communicated with regularly. I can see why they let things be and didn’t question her presence there. I am so forever grateful for the internet and technology!!! So much has been made easier for me - most of all, communication!
  22. Thanks @GreySock! I can see and understand why kids are likely to backpedal whenever in the company of their parents - this was back in the early 80s and thankfully social workers have become more aware and the field has evolved tremendously. Sadly, the 80’s social workers were very inexperienced and very possibly missed a lot of things - not just with me but with many others. I do think my mother wouldn’t allow them to speak to me without being there. She used my disability (deafness) any which way she could and often made it seem as if she needed to be there with me to ‘interpr
  23. Couldn't pass up the opportunity to share this little (big) guy's smile and wave 'hello.'  Hoping it puts a grin onto your faces, too!


  24. Hi, @Alighierie, and thank you for your feedback. I’m sorry to hear you are in the same boat and that your people-pleasing has been the reason you stayed in two abusive relationships for too long. That’s definitely not fair but unfortunately is something we as survivors tend to do more often than not. Even more disturbing is the fact that those we are trying to constantly please are often aware of it as well and take advantage of it. I think that in focusing too much on others’ appeasement, I’d forgotten how to make myself happy and to make sure I was good. It also didn’t really matte
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