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Posts posted by Capulet

  1. Hello, @XwitchhuntX - 

    Welcome to After Silence!  I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  I'm sorry that terrible circumstances have led you here - but do feel glad you have found us.  We're a safe place and are filled with many others who are in the same boat and who completely understand your current struggles. You're definitely not alone, here.  Many, including myself, have struggled with relationships and can understand how tough it can be to find some balance.

    You'll soon hear from a member of our Newbie Support Team.  Until then, I am just a holler away if you have any questions.  This is a big site, but I'm sure you'll be an expert in no time! :) 

    Best wishes to you in your healing process and congratulations on taking this next step within your journey.

    Best wishes,

    P.S. - no worries about the duplicate post - I've taken care of that. 😉  Thank you for introducing yourself!  It is nice to 'meet' you.

  2. I have an iPhone, as well - and I tried this:

    Once the website loads, click the “aA” icon available in the top corner positioned before the address bar. It opens the website view menu. From the available options, choose the “Request Desktop Website” option.

    It didn't work for me.  :(  It's worth a try, though.  Additionally, you could download Chrome for iPhone to see if the result is the same?

    I'm sorry.  Know that we're working on trying to find a solution to the mobile access.  As soon as I find one, I'll be sure to post it! 



  3. This information was given to me by a member who wishes to remain anonymous.  I could not test this as I do not have an Android mobile device - I became a convert much earlier this year and swapped mine in for an iPhone 11!  

    Anyway - here is something that you can try to see if it brings up your notifications and mailbox:

    Android phones:  Chrome and Firefox have 3 vertical dots in the upper right, tap the dots and select 'request desktop site' to check the box and it's the same process to go back to the mobile version, select 'request desktop site' to remove check. Other browsers will have the menu icon either at the top or on the bottom of the screen as 3 dots or 3 horizontal lines, look for the 'request desktop site' option.

    Kindly let me know if this works for you.  iPhone users - I'm sorry - still looking for a solution to this but if this could benefit those of you who have Androids, I'll take it. :)  

    Much love to you all,

  4. I mostly use either my desktop or laptop to access, but occasionally, I will use my mobile when I'm on the go and have a few minutes to spare for a quick check-in.  

    I cannot see notifications or access my inbox, either.  I checked on my mobile while I was still in bed this morning, and the only way I can get into my inbox is to follow the pop-up notification if one appears.  It will only take me to the most recent message, and will allow me to respond but then I cannot see anything beyond that until I log into my desktop or laptop and can see all of the notifications/messages.

    I know this is a problem and will be bringing this up to @Rose when I speak with her, next.  I'm not sure how long it will take for us to implement a fix but please be patient and assured that this is one of our top priorities. ❤️ 

    Thank you to those who have taken the time to let us know about this issue!  Please continue to 'play around' with the site and let us know what your key areas of concern are.

    Huggles to all,

  5. Hi, everyone! 

    Per my recent post in the site's News and Updates forum, I am putting forward this space for you all to tell us about your experiences with the site since we've upgraded our software.

    According to @Rose, the site may present differently depending on your browser.  Please do tell us what browser you are using and if are able to use multiple browsers, which browser displays the site best for you.  Additionally I am seeing there are mailbox (PMs) issues and some notification issues for some of you.  We'd like to spend a little time gathering information from you all on whatever issues you are experiencing so that we can look into a solution.

    We value and truly need your feedback, so please do let us know what's working for you, and what's not - and please do include the name of the browser(s) you use and any differences between browsers.

    I will try to give notice if we need to go offline again in order to perform additional upgrades/fixes.  Normally we will try to give you all some notice if we know the site will be down, but this, unfortunately cannot always be helped.  

    For your reference, please take down the following email address: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com - this is where the moderators can be reached to answer questions if the site/Help Desk is unavailable.

    Thank you all for your patience!!  

    Big hugs to you all,

    - Cap

  6. Welcome, @SlynZ to After Silence!!!  

    Although I'm sorry for the circumstances that have led you here, I'm glad you've found us and I do hope that being here brings you connection, peace and healing.  

    You are not alone, here - many are in the same boat and you'll find an overwhelming amount of support within this community.  

    Take your time looking around and jump in, anytime.

    Best wishes,

  7. 5 minutes ago, Softblue said:

    One Day at a Time - Just Breathe.

    I love, love, LOVE this. ❤️ 

    It's true, too.  One day at a time is the ONLY thing we can do.

    So - I wanna be the first to welcome you to After Silence.  I'm so sorry to learn that you've only known abusive relationships.  Until I met my fiancee twelve years ago, I'd only known toxicity as well.  I'm glad though, that you are, for the moment, safe.  I do hope that being here and being surrounded by those who understand will help for you to feel more supported and a bit less alone.

    Hang in there - these dark times can become overwhelming but hopefully you will find that they are only temporary.  Please take gentle care of yourself - you deserve peace, comfort and healing.

    Wishing you all the best in your healing journey.

    Best wishes,

  8. Hi @D£stiny and welcome to After Silence!!!

    I'm sorry that you often feel alone and sad.  We understand that, completely.  Hopefully you will see you are not alone, here, and that many are in the same boat.

    I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  You'll soon be hearing from a member of our Newbie Support Team who will be sending you some additional information about our site.  In the meantime, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to give me a holler. :)

    Again, welcome.

    Sending you warmth and positive healing vibes,



  9. Hello Tami.  Welcome to the site!  

    I'm sorry to learn you have experienced intimate partner abuse.  I do hope that being here is helpful and that it will make you feel less alone.  Many can relate and I hope that you will gain tons of support from those who understand exactly what you are going through.

    Sending you warmth and positivity!  I am just a shout away if you have any questions about the site.

    Wishing you all the best and supporting you in your healing process!

    - Capulet

  10. Hello Jeanie!

    Welcome to After Silence.  I'm sorry to learn of the circumstances that have led you to our community, but do hope that being here is helpful in clarifying some things for you.  It seems we're on a constant quest for answers and I do hope that hearing from others who have been or are currently in the same boat will help guide you into the direction of healing!!

    Personally, I don't know anything about those pills.  I agree with Mary - it's a notably huge step when we focus on our self-care amid all the other intrusive and unpleasant thoughts that are likely rushing through your mind right now - good for you on taking action to ensure that your physical health is a priority.  The rest will follow suit!

    How are you doing today?

    Sending warmth and healing vibes,


  11. Hello @Eorunia, and welcome to After Silence!!!

    Swinging by to say hi and to let you know that I think it's very brave of you to join our community - it's never easy to ask for support but this site truly has been a godsend for me and I am hoping you find exactly what you're looking for, here, and that you're not alone by any means.  Congratulations on being ready to take that next leap - breaking your silence!  That is truly an incredible way to begin this journey that we call healing!!!  

    By the way - it's okay to not be completely well.  I think many, many of us can relate to that.  It's also okay to not be okay; trauma is not gentle nor is it ever easy to overcome.  It takes a lot of time and patience and although it is difficult and takes many tolls, it's also not impossible.  

    You've got this. :)  

    Again, welcome!

    Best wishes, 

  12. Welcome back, Kelly! :)  Nice to meet you - or re-meet you, as I'm a bit of an old-timer, myself.  I did take a long break in-between as well.

    Agree with Mary - things have changed a lot over the years, but AS is still pretty amazing.  (No, I'm not biased! 😄)  

    Best wishes, and welcome.

    - Cap

  13. Hi @Hope321 -

    Welcome to After Silence!  Depending on where you're from, online support groups are all the rage these days - we are smack-dab in the middle of uncertain times and I'm hopeful that you'll find a lot of our members are currently or have been in the same boat. I'm glad you like what you see here, as in-person support is increasingly hard to find these days.  Thanks for telling us a little bit about yourself.  I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  I'm a survivor of CSA, rape and domestic violence.  I joined back in 2007 but did take a few years' hiatus after my divorce.  This site has been a tremendous healing tool for me.  Now that my life is generally stable, I've gone back to school to pursue my degree in social work.

    You're very right - I can truly relate to what you say about spending a long time pretending all is right with us when truthfully, it's not.  It's just much easier to spend a bit of time visiting the state of Denial before venturing onto the path of healing.  I know what a big step it is to make the decision to start to nurture some of those past wounds, so I hope you are proud of yourself for taking this huge leap!

    Looking forward to getting to know you!  Please know I'm just a shout away if you have any questions or concerns.

    Best wishes,

  14. Welcome!!! :)  I'm sorry to hear of the circumstances under which you've arrived here, but do hope you will find that there is tons of support available to you.

    My best wishes to you in your healing journey!

    - Cap

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