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Posts posted by Capulet

  1. 5 minutes ago, Softblue said:

    One Day at a Time - Just Breathe.

    I love, love, LOVE this. ❤️ 

    It's true, too.  One day at a time is the ONLY thing we can do.

    So - I wanna be the first to welcome you to After Silence.  I'm so sorry to learn that you've only known abusive relationships.  Until I met my fiancee twelve years ago, I'd only known toxicity as well.  I'm glad though, that you are, for the moment, safe.  I do hope that being here and being surrounded by those who understand will help for you to feel more supported and a bit less alone.

    Hang in there - these dark times can become overwhelming but hopefully you will find that they are only temporary.  Please take gentle care of yourself - you deserve peace, comfort and healing.

    Wishing you all the best in your healing journey.

    Best wishes,

  2. Hi @D£stiny and welcome to After Silence!!!

    I'm sorry that you often feel alone and sad.  We understand that, completely.  Hopefully you will see you are not alone, here, and that many are in the same boat.

    I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  You'll soon be hearing from a member of our Newbie Support Team who will be sending you some additional information about our site.  In the meantime, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to give me a holler. :)

    Again, welcome.

    Sending you warmth and positive healing vibes,



  3. Hello Tami.  Welcome to the site!  

    I'm sorry to learn you have experienced intimate partner abuse.  I do hope that being here is helpful and that it will make you feel less alone.  Many can relate and I hope that you will gain tons of support from those who understand exactly what you are going through.

    Sending you warmth and positivity!  I am just a shout away if you have any questions about the site.

    Wishing you all the best and supporting you in your healing process!

    - Capulet

  4. Hello Jeanie!

    Welcome to After Silence.  I'm sorry to learn of the circumstances that have led you to our community, but do hope that being here is helpful in clarifying some things for you.  It seems we're on a constant quest for answers and I do hope that hearing from others who have been or are currently in the same boat will help guide you into the direction of healing!!

    Personally, I don't know anything about those pills.  I agree with Mary - it's a notably huge step when we focus on our self-care amid all the other intrusive and unpleasant thoughts that are likely rushing through your mind right now - good for you on taking action to ensure that your physical health is a priority.  The rest will follow suit!

    How are you doing today?

    Sending warmth and healing vibes,


  5. Hello @Eorunia, and welcome to After Silence!!!

    Swinging by to say hi and to let you know that I think it's very brave of you to join our community - it's never easy to ask for support but this site truly has been a godsend for me and I am hoping you find exactly what you're looking for, here, and that you're not alone by any means.  Congratulations on being ready to take that next leap - breaking your silence!  That is truly an incredible way to begin this journey that we call healing!!!  

    By the way - it's okay to not be completely well.  I think many, many of us can relate to that.  It's also okay to not be okay; trauma is not gentle nor is it ever easy to overcome.  It takes a lot of time and patience and although it is difficult and takes many tolls, it's also not impossible.  

    You've got this. :)  

    Again, welcome!

    Best wishes, 

  6. Welcome back, Kelly! :)  Nice to meet you - or re-meet you, as I'm a bit of an old-timer, myself.  I did take a long break in-between as well.

    Agree with Mary - things have changed a lot over the years, but AS is still pretty amazing.  (No, I'm not biased! 😄)  

    Best wishes, and welcome.

    - Cap

  7. Hi @Hope321 -

    Welcome to After Silence!  Depending on where you're from, online support groups are all the rage these days - we are smack-dab in the middle of uncertain times and I'm hopeful that you'll find a lot of our members are currently or have been in the same boat. I'm glad you like what you see here, as in-person support is increasingly hard to find these days.  Thanks for telling us a little bit about yourself.  I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  I'm a survivor of CSA, rape and domestic violence.  I joined back in 2007 but did take a few years' hiatus after my divorce.  This site has been a tremendous healing tool for me.  Now that my life is generally stable, I've gone back to school to pursue my degree in social work.

    You're very right - I can truly relate to what you say about spending a long time pretending all is right with us when truthfully, it's not.  It's just much easier to spend a bit of time visiting the state of Denial before venturing onto the path of healing.  I know what a big step it is to make the decision to start to nurture some of those past wounds, so I hope you are proud of yourself for taking this huge leap!

    Looking forward to getting to know you!  Please know I'm just a shout away if you have any questions or concerns.

    Best wishes,

  8. Welcome!!! :)  I'm sorry to hear of the circumstances under which you've arrived here, but do hope you will find that there is tons of support available to you.

    My best wishes to you in your healing journey!

    - Cap

  9. Hi @PumpkinPanda and warmest of welcomes to After Silence!  I'm sorry for the circumstances under which you've arrived, but truly do hope that being among others who understand proves to be helpful as you embark upon this journey of healing. :)   We're happy to have you and it's my sincerest hope that you form genuine connections here. ❤️ 

    Sending you all the hugs you can stand.  Again, welcome aboard.

    Best wishes,

  10. Hi there, @HZ25 and welcome to After Silence!  I'm glad you've found this community though I'm sorry terrible circumstances have prompted your search - I hope being here brings you peace, comfort and healing. ❤️ 

    Please take your time looking around and jump in wherever you feel most comfortable.  

    You should be hearing from a member of our Newbie Support Team very soon.  Until then, please know I'm just a shout away if you have any questions. :)  


  11. Hi @Kaley and welcome to After Silence!!  I'm so glad you're here, although I am sorry for the circumstances under which you have arrived; and that those events are very recent ones.  I know how long it took for me to reach out, so I have a lot of admiration for you and for your strength.  You've taken a big step in doing so; I do hope being here among others who understand will bring you peace, comfort and healing.

    Please try not to worry about the therapy issue.  Maybe you and your past therapists just are not a good fit; this does not necessarily mean you have failed at anything - it just means perhaps it's time to search for someone else.  I find that to ask if a therapist has experience working with trauma might make a difference.  I wish you well with that - best of luck!

    Sending you my best wishes,

  12. Hi, healingstar!!!  Welcome to the site.  I'm hoping you recognize what a big step it was to say hello and introduce yourself!  I know it can sometimes take a little time before we've built up the courage to post, but I do hope that being here brings you peace, comfort and healing.

    We support you.  :)  You aren't alone.

    Best wishes,

  13. Stephenjames - if you would like, shoot me a PM and I'll see if I can edit it for you manually.  Seems that some are experiencing difficulties editing their signatures lately. Not sure why this is, but if I can help, I'd certainly like to try.  

    All the best!
    - Cap

  14. 30 minutes ago, Redpanda58 said:

    @capulet Isn't it crazy. When you tell people what happened, they're just like... Isn't it obvious? Well, the mind is a funny thing, isn't it?

    Oh, the mind is for sure the most complex thing in the world. 😄   You just make sure that your truth stays your truth, regardless of what anyone else says - you're after all, the one who lived through it all!!! 




  15. Hi, Panda!!!  Welcome to After Silence.  I'm glad you're here, I'm sorry that terrible circumstances have driven you to our community but hopefully there is some comfort to be gained from it.  We're all here to try and figure a few things out for ourselves, and in the process, I do think there is great strength in numbers.  I hope you'll love it here.

    I can also relate to you in another way....I was in an abusive relationship that I didn't even realize was abusive until I left!  I have two children (teenagers now) who share his genes, too, so I understand that, all too well.  

    I wish you all the best in your healing journey!

    Best wishes,

  16. Hi Franky,

    Welcome to After Silence!!!  I'm sorry you found there to be a lack of support at the other site you've visited, but I do hope you will find us to be a very welcoming community.  

    Just so you know, we have a forum that is JUST for sharing stories - it will automatically unlock and show up for you after you have reached 10 postings - they can be new boards or they can be replies to others.  Once you have hit 10, though, you will be able to post in that forum - but please be advised that is where most of the content will be extremely triggering, so only visit if you're in a good frame of mind, ok? :)  In the meantime, we have many other boards and topics you can browse.  Feel free to explore and when you're ready, we'll be here to listen.

    Wishing you all the best,

  17. 1 hour ago, Scars said:

    hello Cap im just wondering is this just for people who have come out about their abuse.

    Nope - we are for people in all stages of healing, we even have some members who might unfortunately still be in an abusive situation.  

    As 8888 has said, we welcome all members who have been sexually abused or assaulted - regardless of where they may be in their healing processes.  There are still some people I have not come out to, either.  That is, of course, my choice....as is yours to decide who you would be comfortable sharing information with.  You don't have to do that here, either, if you're not ready.  That is probably what I like the most about this community - you can share only what you're comfortable with and you'll never be pressured by anyone to talk about things you don't. :) 

    Have you browsed our Teens and Young Adults forums?  I found that when I was new here, reading was a good way to familiarize myself with the site and with other members.  Jump in wherever you are comfortable! :)  The people here are truly fantastic and I'm sure you will love being here.

  18. Hi Scars!  Welcome to After Silence.  You'll find there are lots of people who are in the same boat and that there is always someone willing to lend an ear.  You're definitely not alone.  

    I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  You will soon hear from a Newbie Support Team member but in the meantime, please know that I am here if you have any questions! :)  

    Again, welcome to the site.

    All the best,

  19. HI Kashjack, and welcome! I'm sorry to learn of all of your traumatic experiences!  I'm glad you're here, though, and do hope that you'll be able to gain lots of support from being here.  This is a great community!!!

    All the best,

  20. Hey, Mason!  Welcome to After Silence. :) 

    I'm so sorry that circumstance has brought you here, but we are a really supportive bunch and we are open hearts and arms.  Please look around and explore the site as much as you would like, and whenever you're ready to post, feel free to do so.  There's absolutely no rush - one of the things I love the most about this community.  

    Please let me know if you need any help - always just a shout away. 

    All the best,

  21. 3 hours ago, Reyzl said:


    has anyone else had trouble editing their signature? Every time I try to change mine I get a message telling me I haven't followed the guidelines. Sometimes it's saying it needs to be on fewer lines, and other times should to be without images, but I'm not adding images and even when I condense it into two lines it's not happy. I've tried on different browsers.

    I've had this problem for years, hence why my signature never changes! I'd hoped it would have gone away by now but it's still the same. The mods back then worked on it but in the end it defeated everyone! 

    Any techno wizards here who can work out what's going wrong? :pray:




    HI, @Reyzl - 

    If you let me know what you would like your signature to be, I will attempt to change it for you. :) I have changed a signature as recently as a few months ago, so it might be worth a try.   Please send me a PM and I'll see what I can do! :)  

    Hoping you're staying safe!

  22. Hi @Samonne -

    Erin, welcome to After Silence!!  I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators, and I'm here to let you know that you've found a truly good community.  I'm sorry to learn that circumstance has brought you here, but am hopeful that you will find a lot of support now that you've told us a little about yourself.  I am a survivor of 23 years, and remember all too well how hard it was to talk things out in person - especially in the beginning!  That's something I still have a hard time with, and I imagine many of us are also in that very same boat.  I hope that being here is helpful and that you are able to quickly build connections with other survivors who understand all of those things you struggle with.  There is genuine strength in numbers.  Thank you in advance for the mutual kindness and support that I'm sure you will be showing others in no time.  

    You should be hearing from a member of our Newbie Support Team very soon, with some information that will help you navigate the site.  Until then, if you have any questions, I'm just a holler away.  :)

    Again, welcome - I'm looking forward to getting to know you.  

    Wishing you all the best in your healing processes!


  23. Hi @Tobi45 -

    I am one of the site's moderators.  I thank you for reaching out with your question!!!

    How old is your client?  If she is sixteen or older, she may sign up for an account as a survivor, and join us; we do have a teen/young adult population here at After Silence.  As many of our members feel more anonymous by not revealing their ages, my recommendation would be for her to first introduce herself in the Welcome forums and browse through postings in the Teen and Young Adult forums that we do also offer.  I have been meaning to do some work in the Teen/Young Adult sections (for starters, to start up a discussion board, maybe?) and if your client does join, perhaps she could give me a heads' up through private message and we could try to connect her with some of our younger members.  Overall, there is an overwhelming amount of support here, and I think she'll fit in nicely with survivors of any age once she gets tha hang of utilizing the boards. :) 

    If, however, she is younger than sixteen, I'm afraid we would have to wait on accepting her as a member.  If you like, please send me a PM and I'll be happy to see if we can find some other resources that may work well for your client.  I'm so sorry to hear of what she's been through.  I wish her the absolute best in her healing journey.

    All the best,


  24. Welcome to After Silence, @thefuturemrsh - although I'm sorry to hear of the circumstances that have led you here, I'm hopeful that being here will inspire lots of comfort, healing and growth. :)  You are among many others who understand and you're not alone.

    All the best,

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