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Capulet

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Posts posted by Capulet

  1. Welcome, @Desert Wave.  I am sorry to learn of what you’ve experienced but am glad you are here to connect with us and to heal.  This is a fantastic community and you are not alone.

    Please let me know if you have any questions about the site.  I am just a shout away.

    Wishing you all the best!

    - Cap

  2. Hello, @4sa, and welcome to AS!

    One of the things (and there are many!) that I love about this site is that you set your own pace.  I know a lot of this can be overwhelming to take in, but I am hopeful that you will find tons of support here as well as comfort, peace and healing. :)   It is truly amazing what a difference being around those who can relate can make.

    Take gentle care of yourself - looking forward to getting to know you and supporting you in the journey!

    Best wishes,

    - Cap

  3. A big welcome to you, @Sister.L, to AS.  So proud of you for taking the steps to be here and to join in our community healing efforts.  One step at a time, one day at a time.  We’ll all get there. :) 

    Looking forward to getting to know you!

    Best wishes,

    - Cap

  4. Hi,

    Just checking in to let you all know that this session has had a date change, as we are needing additional time to put together a few things and to ensure we have appropriate staff coverage.  We will likely be meeting on Sunday, September 17th.

    There is still plenty of time to register! :) Please let me know if you would be interested.  We are also needing to know your time zone (especially if you have not Zoomed with us before) so that we try for a time where our registrants will be available. 

    Sending everyone love and light! 
    ❤️

  5. Welcome to After Silence, Hannah! I am sad you have reason to be here but consoled knowing you have taken an integral first step toward healing and that .  That’s huge, I hope you know that! :) 

    Take gentle care and jump in whenever you feel comfortable doing so.  I know there is quite a bit to take in.

    Sitting with you in support,  

    - Cap

  6. Terms of Service/Rules

    • This is an After Silence site feature that is member exclusive.  Only registered, ACTIVE members who are in the 'survivor' member group may participate.  In addition, member accounts must be in good standing (no warnings or restrictions imposed) and at least 60 days old, with a post count of 50 or more. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule.  If you do not currently qualify for the 60 days/50 post count this time, please do not worry - there will be opportunities in the future to participate, as long as we maintain interest in these chat sessions. 
       
    • The After Silence forum rules will apply to any After Silence sanctioned meetings.  Two AS staff members will be present at all scheduled meetings.  Any rule-breaking or disrespect to other meeting participants will result in immediate ejection from the meeting and a ban from future meetings.
       
    • We will need a minimum of five people to 'gather.'  For now, we will set the maximum number of occupants to fifteen.  We will be operating on a first come, first serve basis, and if there are any cancelations prior to our scheduled meeting, we will indicate that a spot has opened up, in case anyone else would like to last-minute register.  To register to attend an event, you will need to send a PM to @Capulet or @MeBeMary with a request to join a scheduled gathering.  Within this PM, please state you have read and understand the Terms of Service. Please ask any questions beforehand, as we do not want to take time away from these sessions to address potential problems or concerns. We would like the to spend the session time interacting about the topic chosen.  If approved for attendance, you will receive a link to the gathering in your PMs. 
       
    • You will be responsible for joining meetings you choose to attend with your After Silence username.  Please take care to protect your personal information by ensuring that if you use Zoom for other reasons (work, school, etc), you change your display name to your AS username and remove any avatars or photographs with identifying information before signing into the meeting.  Face pictures are okay, but please do not reveal your location or publish your email address as a username.
       
    • As with other online support groups, privacy is of paramount importance.  Please ensure you are in a safe place, and that distractions are minimal (with no children, significant others, housemates, parents, friends, etc present) and that you respect the privacy and safety of other participants and leave the meeting if you are not alone or your/others’ privacy is not guaranteed.
       
    • You are NOT required to put your camera on.  You may opt to put on your camera only when speaking, or not at all.  The choice is completely yours - we want you to feel comfortable.  Zoom has a chat box feature that can be utilized if you would like to speak to everyone using the chat feature.  
       
    • In order to help others to feel safe, you may not enter the meeting if you are at present in crisis, intoxicated, or under the influence of recreational drugs. 
       
    • As stated in our board rules, DID alters are, unfortunately, also unable to participate in these gatherings.
       
    • These Terms of Service may be revised as needed - for now, these are what we would like for participants to become familiar with.  
  7. Hello, AS!

    Happy Sunday to you all! :) 

    Yesterday's Zoom Chat Session went wonderfully!  Thank you to those who joined us - I hope the experience was an enjoyable one!  

    I am here to officially announce our next session - we will be discussing Coping Skills - Triggers & Grounding Exercises.  We will be planning this session for the weekend of (date change:) September 16th/17th.  

    Like we did last time, if you are interested in joining this session, please send a PM to me @Capulet or to @MeBeMary.  Let us know what time zone you are in and all availability during the weekend of September 9th-10th.  We are looking for complete time frames, so that we may accommodate to fit everyone's schedules as best as we can - and to schedule a second session (same topic) if there is a need for it.

    We will work on everything on our end and update with the times as soon as possible. 

    The Zoom links/invitations will be sent to your PM a few days before the scheduled meeting.  Please do NOT share these links or invitations with anybody, even with other AS members.  We MUST know who is attending ahead of time and we will not be allowing anyone in who has not pre-registered appropriately.  Two weeks is hopefully ample time to register and to make your intended attendance known. :)  Apologies, but there are no exceptions to this.  

    In order to ensure that there is adequate time for everyone to speak, we are limiting the number of participants to this session to fifteen.  We will be first come, first serve.  If you have registered but find that you cannot attend, please let us know beforehand, so that we can allow someone else in.  We will be keeping everyone informed on how many spaces we have left or if there are any cancellations.

    Any questions, comments, thoughts, please post 'em here.  I will be posting the Terms of Service below this, so please take the time to review if you have not done so, yet.

    I hope everyone is excited. :)  I am sending strength and positivity to you all.

    ❤️

    - Cap

  8. Hello, everyone! 

    We now have a time for our scheduled Zoom Chat Session "Art Show and Tell!"

    We will be meeting on Saturday, August 26th at 4pm EST.  At this time, we do not have enough interested participants to host more than one meeting.

    This makes it 10pm GMT+2, 9pm GMT+1, 3pm Central Time, 2pm Mountain Time and 1pm Pacific Time.  

    We still have room for more registrants, so please let us know if you might be interested in joining us and you'd be available during this time frame.  Additionally, please let us know if you will be displaying some of your own artwork or someone else's, or you'd like for us to display for you.  We will accept art submissions through email (aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com) up until Thursday night, August 24th. Those planning to show their own art will be able to register up until Friday, August 25th at the end of the day.

    Those who have pre-registered will be receiving links/access information in their PM. :)  Please do not share it with anybody.  

    Can't wait to see you all then!

    - Cap

  9. We are still accepting registrants for our first Zoom gathering!!  

    We are still working on putting together a time.  A time will be set by Sunday night, August 20th.  (For some of you, this may be Monday morning!) Links to our scheduled meeting will be sent in PM by Thursday, August 24th.  Remember, the link you receive is ONLY for you - please do not share it with anybody, regardless of whether they are AS members.

    Please send a PM:

    • Acknowledging you have read the Terms of Service
    • Whether you will be sharing your own or someone else's artwork
    • What your time zone is, as well as your full availability for the two dates provided (August 26-27)
    • Whether you would like for us to present your artwork or you will show it

    Thank you,

    - Cap

  10. Hi @twentyYrsAngry, welcome to After Silence.  I'm so sorry you have reason to be here, but am glad you've found this diamond in the rough community.  I sincerely feel that being here, surrounded by people who support and understand, has changed my life for the better.

    Yes, it is very normal to 'put things away' for many years and to not deal with it until much later after the actual event.  I did the same exact thing.  I, too, had a nonconsensual sexual encounter at 17 - I wouldn't deal with this particular event until over a decade later.  There are still some things I'm trying to process, as sexual violence is so, very complicated.

    It did bring up things that I'd previously buried - and safe to say, it was a domino effect.  I do believe that things we might have missed are stored in the memory banks, and will reveal themselves when we are emotionally and mentally prepared.  Sometimes we never reach that point, sometimes we do.  We all do have to start somewhere, though.  I'm glad you've seen a therapist.  That's definitely a tough step to take when it comes to recovery - so, good for you. :) 

    Anyway - I do hope that being here brings you clarity, as well as peace, comfort and healing.  

    Take care,

    - Cap

  11. Hi Jazzmin, and welcome!!!  

    A lot of what you have said, I can sadly relate to.  My rape was nearly 27 years ago, and I didn't start dealing with things until many years after the fact.  For a long time, I felt like this was time wasted, and that I'd failed myself and those around me, but eventually came to realize that I needed to be ready and also in a safe mental/emotional place in order to seek the support I needed.  I'd also come to understand that there is no set timeline to healing and no rules involved - we simply leap when we are ready.  I'm pleased to hear that you are prepared to leap, and am glad you've found us.  You are definitely not alone.

    This community has been a godsend.  

    Wishing you all the best and looking forward to getting to know you.

    Best wishes,

    - Cap

  12. Terms of Service/Rules

    • This is an After Silence site feature that is member exclusive.  Only registered, ACTIVE members who are in the 'survivor' member group may participate.  In addition, member accounts must be in good standing (no warnings or restrictions imposed) and at least 60 days old, with a post count of 50 or more. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule.  If you do not currently qualify for the 60 days/50 post count this time, please do not worry - there will be opportunities in the future to participate, as long as we maintain interest in these chat sessions. 
       
    • The After Silence forum rules will apply to any After Silence sanctioned meetings.  Two AS staff members will be present at all scheduled meetings.  Any rule-breaking or disrespect to other meeting participants will result in immediate ejection from the meeting and a ban from future meetings.
       
    • We will need a minimum of five people to 'gather.'  For now, we will set the maximum number of occupants to fifteen.  We will be operating on a first come, first serve basis, and if there are any cancelations prior to our scheduled meeting, we will indicate that a spot has opened up, in case anyone else would like to last-minute register.  To register to attend an event, you will need to send a PM to @Capulet or @MeBeMary with a request to join a scheduled gathering.  Within this PM, please state you have read and understand the Terms of Service. Please ask any questions beforehand, as we do not want to take time away from these sessions to address potential problems or concerns. We would like the to spend the session time interacting about the topic chosen.  If approved for attendance, you will receive a link to the gathering in your PMs. 
       
    • You will be responsible for joining meetings you choose to attend with your After Silence username.  Please take care to protect your personal information by ensuring that if you use Zoom for other reasons (work, school, etc), you change your display name to your AS username and remove any avatars or photographs with identifying information before signing into the meeting.  Face pictures are okay, but please do not reveal your location or publish your email address as a username.
       
    • As with other online support groups, privacy is of paramount importance.  Please ensure you are in a safe place, and that distractions are minimal (with no children, significant others, housemates, parents, friends, etc present) and that you respect the privacy and safety of other participants and leave the meeting if you are not alone or your/others’ privacy is not guaranteed.
       
    • You are NOT required to put your camera on.  You may opt to put on your camera only when speaking, or not at all.  The choice is completely yours - we want you to feel comfortable.  Zoom has a chat box feature that can be utilized if you would like to speak to everyone using the chat feature.  
       
    • In order to help others to feel safe, you may not enter the meeting if you are at present in crisis, intoxicated, or under the influence of recreational drugs. 
       
    • As stated in our board rules, DID alters are, unfortunately, also unable to participate in these gatherings.
       
    • These Terms of Service may be revised as needed - for now, these are what we would like for participants to become familiar with.  
  13. Hello, everyone.  Happy Sunday!

    I am here to announce that we are ready to announce our first topic. :) 

    In reviewing the votes, we saw that we had a tie between Art Show & Tell and Coping Skills: Triggers & Grounding Exercises.  

    We wanted to start off with something a bit lighter to start with, so we have chosen to launch our Zoom Gathering sessions with Art Show & Tell as our first topic!  We will likely do Coping Skills next, as that was also a popular choice made by the community.

    Our first session, should be one hour long (we may run over).

    We invite you to bring:

    • Something you have made, painted, drawn, colored, designed, sewn, sculpted, built, or photographed.  This can be any form of art that you have created and are proud of.
       
    • Another artist's work that you relate to. Please be prepared to tell us where this artwork came from, and to properly credit the creator.  Real names are fine if the artwork is published/released to the public. 
       
    • If the artwork is triggering, please let us know beforehand - but know that it is a possibility that some of the pieces shown/discussed may be 'dark.'  We just ask that any pieces including blood or nudity be excluded.  

    For those of you who are uncomfortable with showing your faces on camera when it is your turn to share - we have a potential solution for you.  

    If you send a photo of your masterpiece(s) to aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com, we will show your piece(s) via screen share, and you will be able to discuss your piece and what it means to you via the chat widget or by speaking via microphone when it is your turn.  In order to preserve your privacy and anonymity, only a moderator will be able to screen share.  (Believe me, this is for the best, as many desktops may have pictures or other bits of information on it that folks don't want seen by accident! 😉)

    We are hoping to do the session on the weekend of August 26th and 27th.  The time is still being worked on.

    If you are interested in joining this session, please send a PM to me @Capulet or to @MeBeMary.  Let us know what time zone you are in and all availability during the weekend of August 26th-27th.  We are looking for complete time frames, so that we may accommodate to fit everyone's schedules as best as we can - and to schedule a second session (same topic) if there is need for it.  Please let us know what you will be showing, and whether you would like for us to show it for you (if you choose to remain visually anonymous).

    We will work on everything on our end and update with the time as soon as possible.  

    The Zoom links/invitations will be sent to your PM a few days before the scheduled meeting.  Please do NOT share these links or invitations with anybody, even with other AS members.  We MUST know who is attending ahead of time and we will not be allowing anyone in who has not pre-registered appropriately.  Two weeks is hopefully ample time to register and to make your intended attendance known. :)  Apologies, but there are no exceptions to this.  

    In order to ensure that there is adequate time for everyone to speak/present, we are limiting the number of participants to this session to fifteen.  We will be first come, first serve.  If you have registered but find that you cannot attend, please let us know beforehand, so that we can allow someone else in.  We will be keeping everyone informed on how many spaces we have left or if there are any cancellations.

    Any questions, comments, thoughts, please post 'em here.  

    I hope everyone is excited! :)  I know I am!

    ❤️

    - Cap

  14. @Patti72 - please do let me know how it works out.  I would be happy to see if I can help you (and Peaches) to connect. :)

    We will be choosing a first topic tonight by 11:59pm EST and announcing it shortly after.  So, please - if you have not yet voted, please do so prior to tonight's deadline. :)  

    Please do not worry if your preferred topic is not 'in the lead.'  We will try to do them all, eventually!

    Additionally, we may need to schedule two sessions (same topic) at different times in order to accommodate those whose time zones might interfere with their attendance.  This will depend, of course, on whether we can adequately staff these extra meetings.  We will do the absolute best we can to make this happen.  In order to ensure there is space, we are asking that you choose which meeting better suits your schedules, and to only attend one.

    Thank you to all of you who have voted, so far!  This truly helps us to better prepare for future sessions.  Please continue to brainstorm and send along ideas for topics of discussion to @Capulet (me) or to @MeBeMary!

    ❤️ 

  15. @MeBeMary, you are a saint - I was actually thinking about writing up the Zoom info and letting folks know to download it if they haven't already used it before in some capacity!  You beat me to it, which is not surprising - given the amount of stress on my plate these days.  I'm so grateful you've taken the time to let everyone know how to set up their free accounts ahead of time so that we're more prepared for our first session, which will likely be in 2-3 weeks. :)  Thank you, friend.

    So, regardless of how complicated it looks, it is very, very easy to do...download the Zoom software on your phones or PCs.  If you've already used Zoom before, you will need to go into your personal settings/prefs and make sure your real name is not visible.  In our gathering sessions, you should use your AS name and if you would like for us to call you by another name, a nickname or a first name only.  We are taking privacy very, very seriously.  

    I would be happy to do some 'practice runs,' so some of you can learn the ropes.  Just send me a PM if you would like, and we'll set it up.  I have time in the evenings, mostly, and can pop on to say hello to anyone who would like.  Would that be something that may be helpful?  

    @Patti72, I know you will be using a mobile phone and we certainly can help you to get set up if you're interested.  I would love to have you at the sessions if time permits for it, and Peaches is welcome to join, too. :) 

    ❤️

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