Brooklyn24

I spontaneously went to the beach with a friend today and like... I didn’t have that much anxiety about being surrounded my people... a little but I was ok.

It’s 1am breakdown time

You’ll get through this, just follow the light in the darkness. 

Youre gunna be ok.

I really can’t take being a bipolar paranoid person anymore. Like... relief please 

knowing my thoughts aren’t true but yet still believing they are ? I know.... makes a lot of sense 

I got my injection and feel so defeated. I tried telling my bf my thoughts but he disregards like always. I know this is wrong but i asked him why he doesn’t see the red flags, why do I feel so alone in this... he said he does see the flags but he ‘believes’ in me 😂 hahahahahahahahahah

Got out of inpatient and learned a lot. Gunna be in the partial hospital program and gunna give it my best shot. Really wanna get better 

Series of really horrible dreams all night that I feel too ashamed to even talk about, really sets that mood for a rainy hot (insert whatever day it is as I’m just not even sure) ah why do our dreams have so much power over my feelings?? It’s just dreams.. it’s just dreams .. 😞

1:24am. Waiting for pills to kick in. Hatred runs through my veins. For him, for them, most sadly, for me. I think I’ll be okay this time. Happier days; terrifying nights. I was a victim of rape and childhood abuse for 7 years. I’m not wanting sympathy, I want understanding. I’m not the only one, no but that cuts deeper. We are all struggling. I don’t know why I’m going off tonight. Tomorrow will be better. It will be. Maybe, right?

I’m proud of you. I miss talking to you. Please call when can. My number changed temporarily; I’ll text you the new one, you won’t see this for awhile. You really hep Ed me. I’m greatful. Thank u. Much care xx 

Oh what did I get myself into 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I can’t with myself like geeeezzzzz

Sometimes I wanna die even when I’m happy too 

Trade my joy for my protection