Jump to content

AloneandAnxious

Member
  • Content count

    29
  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor
  1. Hi

    Thank you.
  2. Hi

    Thank you. I am a little overwhelmed by the support. I guess in my head I keep waiting for someone to tell me I have no right to feel this way or I am somehow wrong. I know that this is the years of abuse I have experienced talking but somehow that knowledge does not lessen the power of that fear. I do feel less alone. Not always sure of how to respond with appropriate gratitude though or how to respond at all. Trying to find my voice but I am not sure when I lost it.
  3. Hi

    I am so sorry as well. I have never known anyone besides me and my sisters who have been through this so it is comforting to hear that we are not alone.
  4. Hi

    Thank you for the welcomes. I guess I am at the beginning of healing. Forgive me if at times I ramble. My psyche is a mess. Sometimes I don't know what to say or worry that what I might say is wrong so sometimes I am quiet so if I do the quiet thing I am struggling with my psyche. It is nice to know that others can relate because sometimes I wonder with all people's outrage over sexual assault, abuse and domestic violence can they handle the truth of it?
  5. Hi

    Hi, I am new here. I have been searching for a place for support. I do not know if anyone besides me and my sisters who experienced what we did. Sometimes it it hard to talk to them though they have their own issues to work through. I think I have been in denial for a long time about the impact of SA by my own father. I had convinced myself that I had many things that other people like me had not had. I had a supportive mother. My abuser was convicted (not for what he did to me and only served 3 years). I have been treated by counselors, therapists and psychiatrists so I must have beat this right? Other events in my life I guess have exacerbated symptoms I have had for a long time like low self esteem, anxiety and depression to the point that I started looking back and asking myself, "Did I really beat this?" Actually my younger sister also helped in my looking back because up until that point I really wanted to believe that I was over this. I feel a little in coming here and saying that I feel broken because I had things others like me did not. I do feel broken though. I am lost and don't know where to turn. My life has become one of fear and anxiety. I have remembered things I don't want to remember. I have felt such shame that I feel people can see something is wrong with me. And I wonder what that little five year old girl was like before she learned to hide away in her head. I wonder what she would be like if she never learned that. Too late to change that but I wish I knew.
×