Enigma87

I know that I'm late in adding this, but I want to say that I care very much about you, and that my life is better for knowing you. 

Thanks friend @Free2Fly ❤️
 

@abhaya Aw... you made my eyes water reading your words. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

Your welcome, hopefully life will give us a break soon.

Sitting with you, friend.  You're not alone. 

@Iheartcupcakes @Poppy_ Thank you both so much for your support. ❤️She filed a police report last night. It was her Uber driver that attacked her. So I take it the police are tracing things back to him. Idk... In any case, I will encourage her to come on AS. 💕

@Free2Fly Yea, I know this isn't the first time she's been SA'ed like many of us. However, she is understandably shaken up. I am still emotional about it not just for me and my experience, but because I know how it feels to be SA'ed when under the influence by someone you just met. It's so heartbreaking. 💔

Yeah Idk how to keep faith in this world of ours

Hope they are okay and you are too.

Your welcome 💛 Safe hugs if you like? B

Sending support and kindness, @Enigma87! 

Feel better soon...

Oh @Houston please don’t apologize. I appreciate you sitting with me. ❤️ Thanks for offering to talk.

Sitting with you, friend, holding up a lantern.  There's hope. ❤️ 

@Capulet Sorry for the late response. That reassurance is still very much needed and appreciated. Thank you so much Cap 💕

I think it's not negativity, I think there is a real sadness and loss that comes along with trauma.  I support you having whatever space you need to feel how you feel.  I don't think you're a failure, or that you've wasted your life, but I am sending you support and holding space for you to process the loss if it is helpful for you. I don't think feeling this way makes you bad, or a failure, just a human being who has been through more than anyone ever should have to.   Sending support and encouragement and kindness, my friend.

@Enigma87 I don’t think this is negative at all. It’s super real and relatable, at least to me. I have felt this way A LOT. For a long, long time. 
People I grew up with and care for, knew in college, and have worked with have moved forward and have lives and have made these futures for themselves.... and I just haven’t. 
 

My T has tried to tell me many times that I’m not “behind” or “less than.” It’s just that my experience has been totally different than theirs. That they all have had their own struggles (we all do) but they weren’t having to survive and deal with c-PTSD in the same way I have. (She’s not comparing me to those people in my life, just explaining the difference). 
I don’t think what you are feeling means it’s been time wasted, although I know I have felt and said the same exact thing about myself. So even though I can’t seem to take my own advice, these last few years you have felt were “wasted” are years you are just trying to survive and heal the best way you can. 
I just want you to know I HEAR you. I feel the exact same way. I feel shame and like a failure and never thought this is where I would be and what my life would look like at this point. Like not even close. 
I don’t have a social life either, or many close relationships with anyone at all really cause I can’t figure out how to let people in, trust and be vulnerable enough to create those relationships. 
I don’t want that life for you. You deserve to heal and have moments and times you will struggle, but mostly have a full life with more joy than pain. 
 

Sitting here if you want. 

@dora Aw you made me cry reading this... Thank you so much for making me feel less alone in this. I appreciate you saying you HEAR me more than anything. I’m sorry you have felt this way too. It’s such a painful place to sit in. I’ve been trying to move past these feelings this week. But it’s been quite hard. I really really appreciate your response more than you know and will gladly accept you sitting with me. I hope you are feeling better and working through these feelings too. You also deserve to heal and have a life full of joy more than pain also. I hope that for you too. ❤️

Sending you so much support and kindness, @Enigma87.  I know how painful that shame is and I also feel 100% certain that it was not your fault.  You did not deserve what happened and you do not deserve blame for it.  Safe virtual hugs to you, friend. ❤️

@abhaya Aw thank you for your kind and encouraging words, as well as the hugs! ❤️ You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today. Thank you my friend 💕

❤

@BrightSide Aw thank you B That means a lot to hear you say all of that. I really am trying but feel like I keep sliding backward. Thank you for making me feel like I'm stronger than I feel at the moment. I needed to hear that. I know we are all struggling in some way, so I appreciate your strength and support as always. Yes, thank you for kindly sitting with me. 💕

I disagree. You are already enough 

@Iheartcupcakes Aw thank you 😢❤️

safe hugs if ok?

So very sorry. I lost my dad in May and it still doesn't feel real. 

@snmls @abhaya @Field8 @Free2Fly @Iheartcupcakes

Sorry for just now responding...

Thank you all for your support and kindness during this time. I really appreciate it more than you know. ❤️

Your always welcome  🙂

Hope you're hanging in there, @Enigma87! ❤️ 

@Capulet Thanks Cap. Trying... ❤️

@Abigail2020 Aw thank you so much 💕I really appreciate the hugs 

Sending you hugs if ok friend, hang in there💜

@waterlily13 Aw thank you ❤️ I’m trying... I appreciate the support friend.

@Capulet Aw thank you so much friend. I haven’t forgotten about you btw. I will be PMing you soon 

Sending strength to you. I can relate. We are all here for you.

@redadmirals thank you friend 🥰 I appreciate you sending strength. I can certainly use it! It’s also nice to know you can relate. I will message you soon also. ❤️

💜🌻💜🌻💜

@Free2Fly@mini.finch@MeBeMary@feralcat

Thank you all for your support - for the hugs and for sitting with me. You have no idea how reading/seeing your responses makes me feel right now, after such a rough day. ❤️❤️❤️

@Enigma87, your welcome friend, I hope stuff gets easier for you.

Safe hugs If ok?

Thank you for your support. I’m sorry for just responding. I fell asleep & just woke up for the day.

@BrightSide @Free2Fly Thank you for the safe hugs ❤️I need them

@behindthesehazeleyes Aw thank you for offering to talk. 💕 I ended up drifting off to sleep a little after I posted this status. I’ll message you.

Your welcome,  hope your doing better. 

*sending you extra hugs and support* 

I'm sorry you are struggling, friend  Sending safe hugs too if OK

@MeBeMary @Poppy_ @mini.finch @redadmirals

Thank you all so much for your support. I appreciate the hugs and you sitting with me. Your kindness means so much to me. ❤️💕

Thank you @BrightSide ❤️

Hoping you are feeling better today. to you.

@MeBeMary Honestly, not much better, but I'm trying my best to hang in there. Thanks for the hugs 

@Enigma87 it’s not your fault, friend 🌻

@Free2Fly Thanks Free 

@samantha2009 Thank you for saying that ❤️

Anytime enigma   

@BrightSide Thanks B ❤️ I really appreciate you sitting with me

I've felt that too

Sitting with you/safe hugs if okay? 

-Kim

@Houston Sorry you’ve felt it too. Can’t shake that feeling today  I hope you are feeling better too. Thanks for the hugs & sitting with me. ❤️

@abhaya Thank you so much for saying that. Sending hugs and support to you ❤️

Take all the time you need, friend. ❤️  We are here for you, always - it's okay to not be okay right now, or at least motivated and cheerful.  We love you regardless!  

Big hugs,
- Cap

@Capulet Thank you so much Cap ❤️ That means a lot 

*lots of support and hugs* We're here for you, Enigma. 

@abhaya @mini.finch Thank you both. I appreciate all of your support, friendship, kindness, and hugs. I really needed it. I’m here for you both also. ❤️❤️❤️

Safe comforting hugs if you would like? B. 💛

❤️  Sitting with you.

Thanks @BrightSide I appreciate the hugs 

Thanks @Capulet for sitting with me ❤️

I hope you both are well

❤️  One of those days, friend?  
Sitting with you.  You're adored and supported.  

Sitting with you and hugs if okay 

@Capulet @Celia Yes, not a good day. Thank you both 😢❤️

Sent you a message, love! Hope you are feeling a little better now and can sleep well!

@behindthesehazeleyes Thank you so much friend!! 💕💕 Last night was rough, but I fell asleep soon after talking with my T on the phone. I’m feeling a bit better. I appreciate your kindness! I will throughly read and respond to you message soon.