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CrimsonQ

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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. Trauma bonding

    I had never heard of trauma bonding before. Thanks for sharing this term. I feel I learned something important. Sorry for what happened to you.
  2. Done with Therapy/Healing on my Own

    I don't have much to say because I'm depressed and my mind is numb, but I agree with everything you wrote. I feel the same.
  3. Terrified for Mrs. Blasey Ford

    The police didn't believe me either. I felt like I was being treated like a criminal. The male cop sat close to me with his legs spread far apart and his face in my face (I guess to watch my face to see if I'm lying). I was so nervous I kept looking down, but then I'd end up looking down at his crotch because he was too close to me, I didn't know where to look. The cop said, "He probably thought it was consensual." He said it twice. I was angry and asked if he was saying it was my fault. He said, "It's nobody's fault, it's just a relationship that didn't work out." (Well F-you too!). My ex knew what he did was wrong and cried for himself afterwards and said that he "blanked out." What I get from the cop telling me that he probably thought it was consensual, is that what he thought or felt matters more than what I thought or felt. Like the king trumps the queen in chess. I don't matter, I'm just a lowly female. Sorry for what happened to you and how cops treated you. I feel so alone too.
  4. # 13 Constructive Destruction

    I'm glad you broke his horn. It's just how I feel. I would have done the same. Sorry. I could relate. I was abused by my brother too. It was bad enough that it was my brother who did it, but the whole family protects him. It's like they are all a part of it too. Sorry, it's your blog, but I had to share.
  5. "No man is gonna want..."

    That's terrible that you have to see the guy who *r'ed* you (I'm assuming since he's dating your neighbour then he's around the neighbourhood). It's sad when you have to hear other people talk about the guy like he's a normal, nice guy, and only you know the truth about his character.
  6. "No man is gonna want..."

    Wow, good for you! In my mother's culture (and generation), the man's needs, wants, and identity are above the woman's. I was told not to join any religion until I get married and be whatever my husband is. That's just a small part of the messed up way I was raised by my mother and I'm 43 now and unmarried. I once had an acquaintance tell me that I was never going to get a guy with my attitude, because men want a happy, confident woman. She got quite bitchy when I didn't like her comment, and said, "Do you want me to lie? Because if all you want to hear is, I don't know why he doesn't want you, then I'll say that!!" I wasn't even looking for a guy to be with, so I don't even know why she made that initial comment in the first place. I guess because I was single she thought she was helping me to get out of being single. I was actually more upset over the idea of having to have a better attitude for the benefit of getting a man. Why couldn't I be more happy and confident for my own sake? I deserve happiness and self-love and confidence because I'm worth it, not because I need to get a guy or please a guy. Ugh! I think this obsessive need to please a man has to do with basic biology. We have eggs, we need to breed (that's a whole topic on its own!), so we need to attract a man, and to attract a man we need to be everything he wants. Different cultures have the same obsessions revolving around the idea of women existing for men's benefit. It's really hard to shake off, unfortunately. Ironically, when you're too willing to please a man and always trying to be what he wants, he'll lose respect for you and get bored. Thanks for this topic. Keep pounding down the pavement to your heart's desire!!
  7. Male Victim

    Hi, welcome. Assault is assault, whether a woman does it, whether a man does it. It's brave of you to talk about it. I hope you'll get the chance to tell your wife soon. We support you. Safe hugs. (I think you can report the woman? Don't know much about Uber, but drivers can be ID'ed?).
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