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ContinuingMetanoia

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    Survivor

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  1. I'm back Given recent events, I feel fragile as I wander the aisles of the grocery store. I want to be left alone, which is unlike me as of late. I glance at a man here and there and wonder. An elderly one stands looking perplexed in the spice aisle. I consider offering help, but no, not today. I need to keep to myself. Opposite him, I reach for a bottle of olive oil. “Are you an expert?” He asks from behind. I turn and he engages me in a pleasant, lengthy conversation. As we part ways, he assures me that if he ever finds out what and where ham seasoning is, he'll let me know if w
  2. Justified. It's the word that came forth from my pen as I journaled about the Matt Lauer deal. Most women have a story. I have mine. Like Matt, he was well liked and fun loving. Along with that, there was a facet of him that was so not okay. I am grateful there is more exposure. We've worked through this in my own Catholic Church. Expose it. Name it. Claim it. Fix it. Heal it. Unfortunately for the victims, healing continues for a lifetime. Certainly with help, the pain and fear can lessen significantly. It remains, though, a fact of their life history.
  3. Transfiguration When he opened his soul to me, we were on holy ground. As I leaned against a door jamb, He appeared before me. Eyes did not see, rather soul burned. He stood before me. “His face shone like the sun and his clothes become white as light.” All spirit. Permeable. Radiant. Alive. He and I. I and Him. One. Mt. Tabor. I wanted to stay. Cling. Lord, it is good that I am here. Shall I build three tents? As for Peter, James, and John, Jesus gave a glimpse of his glory and fullness. Life is not the same. Never will be. New life is within. Stoney heart has t
  4. You are a good writer. I could see and feel this. When I was working with my kids in home schooling, we had a book entitled, "Show, Don't Tell." You're doing that! You are sure to excel in your Composition class!
  5. Glad to hear it! Continued blessings on your venture!
  6. Scene Change An old hag sits hunched over at the end of the bar at Judy's. Cigarette in one hand. Gin in the other. Smoke burns her lungs. Gin rots her gut. Her skin is leathered. When someone approaches, she tells them to go to hell. She's alone. She's cold. She's closed. She's hard. Scene change... An old lady sits in her favorite chair, in her long time home, gazing out the window, in contemplation. With both hands, she cradles a cup of tea, savoring its warmth, fragrance, and beauty. The cup, adorned with pansies, was a gift from her beloved family for Mothers Day a
  7. Wishing you all the best! Good for you moving forward into something that you love. Will pray for you this week. A couple thoughts on your teacher being a man. I venture slowly and carefully, when having to work with a man, assessing along and trusting my gut. We had some construction in our home recently, so the place was crawling with men. It was very difficult initially, even hiring the general contractor, but one stood out of the three interviewed. He was non imposing, soft spoken, and respectful. He turned out to be a catalyst for significant healing and growth for me. I continue
  8. Hi everyone. I've only spoken in the confidentiality of therapists and some close friends. 30 years - After silence - I'm ready to speak. Finding you and after reading some, it feels like I've found my tribe. Grateful that you are here.
  9. I also want to wish you well in reducing tension. I am a 30 year survivor and have struggled much with it, so similar to what you're experiencing. Always waiting for the next shoe to drop is a bugger to carry. Lots of therapy, prayer, and developing healthy relationships with healthy men has enabled me to make a lot of progress in this area. Getting to a place of real connect and trust in God has been the key for me - to believe he's got my back and will never take back his love. This is starting to sink into my bones. I get how you felt so relaxed with your niece. The innocence and u
  10. I've been reading "Jesus Calling" for a few months now. It is truly balm for my soul. I hope you are finding more peace each day.
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