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Everything posted by elisand

  1. is there something to make us feel stronger emotionally?

    1. Free2Fly


      I would like to think so , just a matter of finding whatever it is.

      safe hugs :hug: if ok?

    2. snmls


      I don't know, but I hope we all figure it out one day. 

  2. The question: What makes life worth living?

    1. Free2Fly


      Not sure haven't found the answer yet... sorry :( 

  3. Pretty terrible.. broken phone no money. But i have someone sitting with me. Need support please:(

  4. Hi! welcome to AS! we are here for you.
  5. Hi! you are welcome here.
  6. i thought it would be good to put down in which ways my existence has gotten better through therapy.

    i don't feel suicidal all the time

    walking is easier

    in control of my organs

    find things that help me like internet

    like After Silence

    buy things to make me feel good 

    like coke (the drink!)

    stand up to my parents and tell them what i need

    create a viable day plan that i feel good about

    think of what i want to do in the future

    met a girl (but i broke up) 

    know what is special about me

    filter who to connect with

    do things in public like speaking

    confident with study partners


  7. I really wish I could become a Pop-Star. 

    And I would sing how I feel as a survivor.

  8. there are terrible people everywhere. sending support
  9. watched the movie Nowhere Safe.

    i feel so bad with her. 

    i've had so many of those feelings.

    i wish someone was there for me also.

    i love the ending, she's so brave

  10. doing ok. watched the movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2978102/ 

    i found the building relationship with kate and her ultimate happiness really resonates inside. 

    i want that. 

    and also how nick will do anything to save her. Why couldn't my dad do that, be there for me?

  11. Hi!, Welcome to AS! please feel comfortable. We are in this together.
  12. I think here is the safest place in the world. I hope you will feel that way too. It's so hard. I sometimes think that if i would have known how hard it would be i wouldn't have started. But now i am at a stage where i can see a future in the distance.
  13. Hi Alexis, Welcome back! i think you'll find a lot of support here
  14. elisand


    H, Welcome to AS! Happy to have you join!
  15. Hi Sarah, welcome to AS! I am so sorry what you've been through.
  16. found out that the concept of being defiled and violated applies to me. Idk, maybe i have been too frozen and broken to think that way 'til now:unsure:

    1. robynpi


      :( I'm so sorry

    2. elisand


      thanks. could you sit with me for a while?

  17. I think i only remember anything in snapshots like a picture of any event in my past not like a video.Also it's like my memories are on mute. I don't remember sounds. Maybe that's why sounds trigger me. 

    I just realized this and i needed to share it but my T is away. 

    Also I started to feel a little. It's scary. Yesterday my apartment got rain inside and i felt so desperate.

  18. Welcome to AS! I hate when people talk about my abuser in non-negative ways. And i can't stop them w/o revealing what he did
  19. elisand


    Hi, welcome to AS, !!!!!
  20. maybe i feel depressed and sad bec. i don't feel loved?:(

    1. CrimsonQ


      @elisand What does love mean to you? I often wonder myself, what is love? I don't know if I've ever experienced love, except for the pure love from a cat. Animals seem to know how to love better than humans.

    2. elisand


      idk, i definitely don't love my parrents though they think they love me.

      I agree, and i want a pet but currently i am not in the position to have one.

      And thanks @Free2Fly, i wish i knew why people love me, maybe i can't love myself

    3. Free2Fly


      :hug: , i'm sure its just a learning process.

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  21. Yes, our emotions are totally ---------'d up. And people told me that not all my problems are results of abuse. It took me a long time to realize they were wrong and i was right. it's not about blaming yourself. Considering the questions you are asking yourself it is pretty clear that the abuse you endured were deeply affecting you. So probably a lot more than what even you realized about yourself was affected. (talk about support!). But really love and connection are so hard for us for more than 1 reason. It has to do with trust, and possibly depression and possibly
  22. Hi, welcome to AS, I hope being connected to the AS community will help you feel less alone. Members here get it when you share that you are in pain and identify and care. Safe holding hands if ok?
  23. Hi @WhoAmI?, it must have been so tough going through life w/o support. I hope you heal and discover a very special identity about yourself.
  24. Hi, Welcome to AS, I'm happy you have found AS. I hope you find support here.
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