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Status Updates posted by elisand

  1. watched the movie Nowhere Safe.

    i feel so bad with her. 

    i've had so many of those feelings.

    i wish someone was there for me also.

    i love the ending, she's so brave

  2. doing ok. watched the movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2978102/ 

    i found the building relationship with kate and her ultimate happiness really resonates inside. 

    i want that. 

    and also how nick will do anything to save her. Why couldn't my dad do that, be there for me?

  3. found out that the concept of being defiled and violated applies to me. Idk, maybe i have been too frozen and broken to think that way 'til now:unsure:

    1. robynpi


      :( I'm so sorry

    2. elisand


      thanks. could you sit with me for a while?

  4. I think i only remember anything in snapshots like a picture of any event in my past not like a video.Also it's like my memories are on mute. I don't remember sounds. Maybe that's why sounds trigger me. 

    I just realized this and i needed to share it but my T is away. 

    Also I started to feel a little. It's scary. Yesterday my apartment got rain inside and i felt so desperate.

  5. maybe i feel depressed and sad bec. i don't feel loved?:(

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. CrimsonQ


      @elisand What does love mean to you? I often wonder myself, what is love? I don't know if I've ever experienced love, except for the pure love from a cat. Animals seem to know how to love better than humans.

    3. elisand


      idk, i definitely don't love my parrents though they think they love me.

      I agree, and i want a pet but currently i am not in the position to have one.

      And thanks @Free2Fly, i wish i knew why people love me, maybe i can't love myself

    4. Free2Fly


      :hug: , i'm sure its just a learning process.

    5. Show next comments  3 more
  6. some ups and downs. my therapist pushes me so much. 

  7. I told someone i was abused. wonder when the suicidal feelings will start bec. thats what happens whenever i tell anyone.

    in need of support

    1. Kmkz


      You are not alone sitting with you and sending support. 

    2. elisand


      thank you right now i'm going into shock 

    3. Rey Stromnight

      Rey Stromnight

      hi, im sitting with you and sending support if its ok

  8. Not meeting my T this week. hope I'll be ok

  9. the secretary in my therapy clinic is a -----. she made me feel like trash just because I asked if I could photocopy some papers. "let your therapist ask"- as if I'm incompetent and lowly.

  10. It is so important for me to feel I count

    1. MeBeMary


      You count. You count a heck of a lot. :hug: to you, if ok.

    2. elisand


      thanks so much

      But I don't get why

  11. Two days ago mom told me they are hoping I could forgive him. I'm so upset. 

    1. tuliptorn


      That would upset and piss me off too.

      Sorry they said that. They have no idea.:flowers::hug:

    2. elisand


      thanks. I think they care about the perv. What the f----'n he--.

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