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Mother of Rats

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About Mother of Rats

  • Birthday 12/17/1992

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  1. I feel like a there is an internal timer counting down until I snap. Every day gets worse and worse and I'm terrified that I'm going to snap. I have these episodes of overwhelming anger and it's getting more difficult to hold it in. I can barely sleep and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I can't remember when exactly these episodes started happening, but they used to be so rare even up to a year ago. Now they are happening everyday. I don't know how to deal with this. My dad also doesn't help. He is a huge bully and likes to pick on my siblings and me. Especially when we are at our most vulnerable. This has been happening all our lives so I'm used to it, but with my anger issues, it's starting to get to me. I want to throw things. I want to break things. I've already cracked the granite counter with a large knife a few weeks ago because I saw red and lost control. That's exactly it: I see red, lose control, and then I go into almost like a trance, and come back to reality. I can't do this anymore. I need help....
  2. Hi everyone. I found AS after doing research on ways to help myself heal. I've seen one therapist during the late winter and early spring of 2016, but stopped because I did not particularly enjoy it. It just didn't feel like she was helping me. I mean, it was a little nice to talk about my story and let out some emotions, so there's that. Before seeing that therapist, I have never really discussed what happened to me with anyone else. I never received any help. Anyways, I did some research on support groups and came across AS and decided to sign up. So this is something I am going to try out...
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