I'm just feeling overwhelmed with everything right now!
All anxiety is back. It's like healthy me vanished and broken me is back.
Maybe it's a sign I'm doing the right thing....challenging old systems...
Maybe it's time (again) to acknowledge to myself that I need a break. That I am suffering. Maybe the mask is falling, maybe he is getting ready to come out and let me be there for him. I love him so much and I want to lift his sorrow and banish his horrors.
This is currently getting me through:
I never realised how badly I wanted to talk about all this. About all experiences, suspicions, dreams, memories, images, issues, struggles. I am glad to be here!
nailimixam posted a topic in Public: Welcome!Hello everyone here, I am really glad that I have found this. I am currently at the point where I am faced with the question, the feeling and the suspicion that something might have happened to me as a child. IF something might have happened to me as a child. All I have is a big lack of memory and certain experiences, feelings, mind-images, dreams and possibly even behaviours that have been and could be suggestive of such a thing having happened to me. And this is what brings me here. After using the last year of working through things, realising that I grew up in an emotionally abusive family constellation (though the emotional abuse was involuntary), working through it and re-discovering parts of myself, and regaining memories there is still something that feels like a pit in me, that is inaccessible and keeps the rest of the 'full me' and my memories away. And, I just know in order to become fully and wholly me I need and want to open this and access it. Because I know however big the horror what waits is beyond reward. I hope to speak to many of you, can listen to you, find out about your experiences maybe get pointed in right directions and I hope I even can offer support from my side. I am always happy to listen. And lastly, just because it has a huge impact on me and I find it to ring true to many fighting, no matter with what kind of issues and horrors, I'd like to share a song. Our hearts are all golden, we just forget it from time to time!