TryingtoSeetheLight

I notice it regularly. I go into public places trying to combat my anxiety and do regular, everyday things that would or should be considered miniscule or simple to average people. But to me....far from simple. I open the door, I look at the available seating arrangements, my mind goes "no don't sit there" "if you sit there everyone will face you" "don't sit there and look like an antisocial weirdo" "make sure you sit at least a seat away from somebody." The thoughts are endless and I'm at a catch 22 either way. I pick a seat. It seemed like the perfect choice. Close by the desk, near nobody,

Some days are harder than others. There are days I wake up and although I have a pulse and my heart is beating, I still question my livelihood. Am I even actually living? Is this all just make believe? Why do I feel numb to feelings and the world around me? I try to find answers but without receiving a response I just accept the fact that regardless I am here. I was for whatever unknown reason given a new chance at life. Today just like any other day, I woke up. My heart still there, however many beats per second. I am alive. Today, right at this moment I finished getting dressed and feeling a