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About Anonymous75

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    CSA & SA Survivor

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  1. How can I block a member who disturbs me?
  2. As far as friends, family and other loved ones who want to join AfterSilence, are they able to go in and offer support to survivors? Or are they constrained to just supporting other friends, family and loved ones of other survivors? It seems like this group shouldn't just be about survivors gathering in a closed group supporting each other. It seems to me like the rest of the world ought to be able to come here and show compassion and support.
  3. I don't know what to do with my life now. I don't know what to do to provide for myself better financially and gain independence from my horrible mother. My PTSD is pretty disabling at times right now. I'm not even sure if I am up to this seasonal retail job I started last week. I wasn't able to work yesterday or today due to being hideously stressed out. My mind feels so fragile right now. 

    All I have wanted for the past 10 years or so is to recover to the point where I can get some years of stability under my belt enough to feel like I could become a good parent to at least one child. But I am on meds that can't even be taken at the time of conception, so I would have to find a surrogate or adopt. And I was just looking into the surrogacy thing out of curiosity, and I see that on their applications they do ask about mental health stuff. Even if I come to be in remission for some time, I might not even be able to have my own child through surrogacy. It's very painful to still be having health problems, too. I am already 42 years old. 

  4. Today is a day like so many others. I feel taxed by my childhood traumas and related emotional pain. I know I need to reach for some balancing mechanisms, like listening to music I like or cleaning my place, etc.; but at the moment I'm just sitting with the feelings. In a weird way I am still confronting the reality of everything I've been through. It's so hard to believe this has been my life. I wish I knew why these things happened. I mean, I guess I know; but it seems like people should be more able to stop these things from happening. I feel tremendous sadness for women all over the world. Tremendous, tremendous sadness. It's just not right. And it makes me want to go to Law School and try to change policy at least in the U.S. Whomever is reading this today--thank you. I hope you are having a good day, and I'm sorry that you had a reason to come to this site. 



    1. MeBeMary


      I'm sorry you have a reason to be here, too, Karen. This world can be so unfair. Monsters live among us. Others that are tolerant of monsters live here too. It is sad that this goes on and continues to go on. It is not fair and it is not right. I do hope one day that these abuses are considered reprehensible as they should be.

      Thank you for your thoughtfulness for others. :hug: to you, if ok.

  5. Where does that quotation come from at the top of this website? Just curious. I just love it (about the lotus).
  6. I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you as a child. That is just plain terrible. I have had a similar experience, but fewer in number. Please feel free to reach out to me, if you wish. Blessings, Karen
  7. Just hoping I can get through the day okay. I didn't shower again today because it is just such a chore for me. Wish that washing and drying my hair wasn't so difficult. 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Anonymous75


      I'm sorry to hear that. I sort of think I understand why it is so hard, but my last therapist didn't. She was sure that it was because I am unhappy with my weight. That is not it at all. 

    3. Bluesclues


      No. Nothing is ever the fault of just one particular thing. 

    4. tuliptorn
  8. Hello, When I click on the buttons to upload my pics, absolutely nothing happens Also, nothing happens when I drag and drop my pics. Is there some setting on my browser I need to change?? Please help. Thank you, Karen
  9. Thank you all so much for your kindest words! Some good news is that I seem to have finally found the right therapist to help me through all of this! What a grand relief (big sigh). Thanks again, Karen
  10. Hi there, I am so happy to have found this place on the internet thanks to a kind person on the Inspire Community, which is also a great place for support...I am currently recovering traumatic memories from my childhood (which include sexual abuse), so it is a very hard time for me. That has happened before for me, but always in the past it was accompanied by severe mental illness, so I eventually wrote the memories off as "illness." However, now I am quite in remission from mental health problems, and the same stuff is coming up again. I could use all the support I can get at this
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