Single Status Update
I don't know what to do with my life now. I don't know what to do to provide for myself better financially and gain independence from my horrible mother. My PTSD is pretty disabling at times right now. I'm not even sure if I am up to this seasonal retail job I started last week. I wasn't able to work yesterday or today due to being hideously stressed out. My mind feels so fragile right now.
All I have wanted for the past 10 years or so is to recover to the point where I can get some years of stability under my belt enough to feel like I could become a good parent to at least one child. But I am on meds that can't even be taken at the time of conception, so I would have to find a surrogate or adopt. And I was just looking into the surrogacy thing out of curiosity, and I see that on their applications they do ask about mental health stuff. Even if I come to be in remission for some time, I might not even be able to have my own child through surrogacy. It's very painful to still be having health problems, too. I am already 42 years old.