Sarah95

I wash your clothes, i cook for you, i buy your favorite choice of snacks, i rub your back because i know you work hard, I'm player 2 when you want to have a gaming day, or your binge watching buddy. I am faithful to you. Your my best friend and I love you. 

When did you stop kissing me before you left from work? When did our phone become our tools ignore each? When did stop saying i love before we when to sleep?

I know these are just little things but why? We used to be loving toward each other. When you had your problems i was there to wipe away your tear. I was there when you fell. I followed you when you want to move. I chose your family over my family. When i need you you defend your family instead me the one who been by your side through everything even when everyone said it would last because of the family against family but i didn't care because we loved each other.

When you shut me out are you blinded by anger to see it hurts me, your the only one i want to talk to everyday. When we get into a fight I'm always the reason even if your in the wrong its my fault because you work your stressed and i do nothing compared to what you do right? The first time you left i begged you to stay because i love you i could imagine my life without you. You said that the reason you left was that you loved me, you what to show me what its like if "we" keep going down the same path. Like good girl i still stay faithful to you. I let you see how vulnerable i was without you. Did you know i cried myself to bed all those nights because everything surrounding me had you smell your pillow, the blanket we share, your shirt i wore to bed, everything reminded me of you. Did you know i was depressed from the stuff i was going and losing my job knowing i was the only one work. How exhausted i was from selling my plasma for 2 1/2 months straight even though my vein collapsed each time did it, it left me in pain and with bruises but i needed the money. All you were concerned about was that you were stressed out! That i was we the reason for it. 

 I'm still dealing with depressed but I'm trying. Theres days i wake up and just lay there not because i want to i just can't get up. Then theres days i find a way to start my day by my music or i have my gaming day with you and i have a fun day at least i try too.

I hope you know i trying to do the best i can.. 

End of my venting