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nomadlady1

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Everything posted by nomadlady1

  1. nomadlady1

    15

    so sorry about this but I'm very glad it did not go further. safe hugs for you
  2. The thoughts and feelings that I need to separate from myself. The thoughts of failure which stem mainly from the trauma. The trauma that I continue to overlook. My name is Chloe Colaianni and when I was six years old I was almost raped by my neighbor. The experience has put me through hurdles, and my biggest hurdle right now is the anxiety I face. The anxiety is a huge part of me defeating this. The anxiety is a small little part of me that I need to wrap in a ball and throw away. Like my T said, I can regard the anxiety as a movie. Anytime I feel self doubt, take a breath and say out l
  3. Tonight when I reflect on the moments of the day, i will laugh at myself for the times my mind gave me thoughts that made me feel insecure, and worthless. I will laugh at that because it is absolutely silly that I treat my mind like it is this bully I have no control over; this ominous entity which casts a black veil of weakness over my self reflective eyes. It is quite the opposite. It is like the movie, the Wizard of Oz, with that man, I can't remember what they call him, but he acts like this all knowing, all seeing, powerful god, but really he is just a man behind a computer. It's kinda li
  4. I was asked by my therapist to speak out loud everyday the sexual violence I suffered as a child. She said it was a way to deal with the buried emotions caused from the event and dispel the bad energy I have been keeping inside since it happened. Also, it's so I can stop detaching myself from the memory, which essentially causes me to bury and ignore apart of my life, myself. ______________________________________________ When I was six years old I was a curious, playful, adventurous child. I was always wanting to learn new things, and keep up with my big sister. I remember I learne
  5. DISCLAIMER: I do go into a little bit of detail about my intimacy with my ex boyfriend. It was always sweet, loving, non abusive, and consensual, but still, just want to give a warning! Hello everyone! So in case anyone needs to read a juicy excerpt of young adult relationship drama, look no further than this post right here! Hmm, but in all seriousness, I was and still am super emotional about my problems with my relationship. And I was just having anxious thoughts, not pertaining to the relationship, but to this anxiety that I am getting so tired of!! I though
  6. thank you so much i will definitely check that book out I think a lot of it has to do with me being disconnected from myself, so I will just go with things, like having sex with my boyfriend, even though I know it will end up making me feel bad. I need to put trust in myself-to know when something I do will affect me in a positive or negative way. I treat sex like it is a hollow, meaningless action which makes me feel in control of my relationships. So, when I do it and realize I don't feel anymore in control of my relationship, I am disappointed and feel like shit. I feel
  7. Wow, thanks for all of the replies everyone, it means a lot to me. I will get to messaging each and every one of you personally. it would help me to widen my support network and not feel bad about opening up emotionally to other people, and accepting their sympathy. That is something I need to learn to do! Hope you all are doing well!
  8. How can I enjoy intimacy with my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) if I view the act as evil? This belief is what has damaged my relationships. I never listen to my heart, only my mind. And my mind tells me it's okay to take the step, to open myself up and go the furthest point. And so I do. But then afterwards I hate myself. And I hate my boyfriend. I call him names, I make him feel worthless, I make him feel like a pervert. It's just a projection of my feelings toward myself. And then I feel myself recoiling. Hating myself more. Not knowing what to feel or listen
  9. hello, im 21 years old and signed up for this because I am in need of support. I am still in a victim mindset and its been over 15 years... i can't go on with schooling and a normal life and be happy with this mindset. anyone wanna talk? i don't mind sharing my story in private. -lost soul
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