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Kkhateera

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Blog Comments posted by Kkhateera

  1. I remember when I told my best friend (now my boyfriend) years after it all happened, and he was so angry that anyone had ever treated me that way - he wanted to kill em all. Mostly though, he just loved me. I told him about several of my sexually traumatic incidents and he just held me while I cried. He didn't ask, nor does he know all the details, but it was just eating away at me - some one had to know and help me, and I just trusted him so much. I have never felt so close to someone as I did in that moment, and it came out as word vomit. It was probably the scariest moment in his life lol but he's always been there for me and I him through thick and thin. Side note: Telling him was a BIG DEAL. I didn't even admit to my therapist that I'd been raped because I wanted to avoid all and any sort of confrontation with my exes. Everyone knew it was bad because I ended up in the hospital, but no one really KNEW. I still have issues because most of the incidents happened while in a relationship, so I'm weird about a lot of things. Logically I know I should feel or react differently but I get triggers from the dumbest things and shut down or get overwhelmed. Flash backs always kick my butt, and BF is always there to help me, reassure my irrational and fearful thinking, help calm and comfort me, remind me to breathe, and get me back to a better mental place. I'm lucky, and getting better. 

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