cantstoprunning75

Thank you Hawkgirl and Stagnas. Its harder than I thought it would be to write things down. Looking at the words seem like I'm making excuse for my shitty behavior. I've spent a life time avoiding it, pretending it wasn't a big deal. It took me a life time to realize everything was connected. Every action and decision I've made since I was 8 has been to protect myself. My secret. I've always doubted my manhood because of what happened. I did everything to convince myself. 18 years old, hey world look at me I joined the Marines so I cant be weak and taken advantage of. I'm a man right? Look I'v

I remember in the summer of 2014 Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens was suspended for 2 games by the NFL for domestic violence. He said all the right stuff. I'm sorry, I'm in counseling, she has forgiven me, blah, blah blah. In the fall while he was serving his suspension a video came out of the actual incident. The video was of the 2 of them inside an elevator and they were arguing. He got so upset he punched her in the face and knocked her out cold. One punch. All of a sudden everybody is in an uproar. The league suspended him indefinitely and the Ravens fired him. Nothing happened in the vide

Everything happens for a reason. I’ve hated that statement since the very first time I can remember hearing it. It makes it sound like the world is a fair place. If you do something good you are rewarded and if you do something bad you are punished. All the chaos in the world is part of some grand plan that we don’t get to know about. If karma exists is not going to happen in this world. This is my story and nobody else’s. Unfortunately, from what I’ve read and heard in the past 15 months it seems to be a pretty common story. As uncomfortable as its going to make you feel reading this please