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Me89

Member
  • Content Count

    288
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Status Replies posted by Me89

  1. Very stress free and very relaxed.  

  2. Finding it very difficult to get his face, his voice, his actions and all the pictures out of my head.  

  3. I'm stupid . :sadang::sadang:

    1. Me89

      Me89

      There are things I wish I hadn't done too, but I don't think it makes us stupid, I think it makes us human. As hard as that is to accept sometimes.

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  4. So much nostalgic and sentimental memories are in my mind :sadang:

    1. Me89

      Me89

      No, not at all. Hope you are feeling a bit better. Sitting with you.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  5. i could end up in the hospital this whole coming week. no one will notice. 

    1. Me89

      Me89

      Sending you safe and gentle hugs as well, LuthienTinuviel. Please take care of yourself.

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  6. Very stressed out and sick to my stomach. :(

  7. I've learned to slam on the brake

    Before I even turn the key

    Before I make the mistake

    Before I lead with the worst of me

    1. Me89

      Me89

      Thanks, @MeBeMary. It is actually lyrics from a song but fairly adequately sums up my life recently

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  8. Don't know what to think anymore.  Just speechless. :(

    1. Me89

      Me89

      ((Hugs)) if okay. Happy to listen if you need to talk

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  9. I hate the dreams where I have to fight but have forgotten martial arts ><

  10. I don't talk much about health but found out I have cancer round 2.   I'm going to throw a shindig just cuz I can.  I'm going to grab me a shake since I'm out and about.  Leave me a positive comment.  Looking to celebrate something good with you.  Your good news is encouraging to me.  Ready? Set? Post! 

    1. Me89

      Me89

      Sorry to hear about the diagnosis, Hawkgirl but I greatly admire your willingness to look for the positive. Hope your shake is delicious!

      My good news is that it is supposed to be almost 70 this weekend and I think I may even be able to squeeze in time to ride both weekend days :)

    2. (See 22 other replies to this status update)

  11. Almost 7AM no sleep yet. Just had fight with wife about past abuse & rape, my lack of communication, and overall f---ed "normal" life. So tired of feeling worthless, feeling like my past is always coming between us. Nail in the coffin after reading something on AS.

    1. Me89

      Me89

      I will echo that you are not worthless. I have enjoyed the times I have interacted with you in chat or on the board and find your posts to always be very encouraging and full of wisdom. I am sorry you and your wife had a fight, I hope she is able to be supportive for you in your healing journey.

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  12. Wish I could stop shaking, sure would be nice...

  13. Stupid flashbacks need to go away already!!!!!

  14. You never know how kind a stranger will be

    1. Me89

      Me89

      It's always nice when a stranger reaches out when we need it.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  15. Feels like I've been hit by a truck!:(

    1. Me89

      Me89

      Hope you're feeling a bit better today, PB. Thinking of you and sitting with you still.

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  16. Audiobooks should come with trigger warnings...that was rough.

    1. Me89

      Me89

      It's called, "The Life We Bury." I normally do assume that, but this one came out of nowhere and not from the direction I was expecting it. I should stop listening to the book as it is hard on my levels for me but I have a thing about finishing what I have started...

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  17. The chat! IT LIVES!

    1. Me89

      Me89

      *does a happy dance*

  18. "When you're sitting in a movie theatre, and you're watching the screen, you're very involved in the drama. It's manipulating your emotions, the way you feel, the way you think. It's that lizard brain and the lemur brain, you're totally caught in the drama. And then you turn around and you look at the projector, and you realise that it's just flickering shadows and light, continually changing, and suddenly you've stepped out of the drama, and you realise you're free, you've stepped out of the drama. That's how mindfulness works. What a gift that is, to be able to ignore yourself." - Wes Nisker.

    1. Me89

      Me89

      Sounds nice...

  19. "Sometimes I'm like, "why am I still here?" but then I realise that I'm often the only person who's around to take bad-to-eat stuff out of my dog's mouth, and I think there's this Western idea of "if you're not CEO you're nothing special," but my dog is still alive because of me, and I'm still alive because of other people, so maybe I'm just here to pet cats and wear sweaters and help people take the class out of their mouth. Yknow? Maybe I won't be CEO, but maybe I'll be able to help somebody afford their trip home, and I think that's pretty ok, yknow?"

    written by inkskinned on tumblr. I couldn't agree more. Saving lives feels less of an amazing thing than it is (I saved two last week alone and I still feel about as proud as if I do making a cup of tea for a guest :P) but it's good to remember that there are people still around to do their thing, animals still wagging their butts today, because of YOU.

  20. (tw) What's with all the flashbacks? Why has it started now? I'm just starting to get my life back on track a little, I've stopped drinking almost entirely, I've started to clean up my diet a bit, I'm exercising more, I'm trying to keep to a sleep schedule. Why can I not go a day anymore without remembering? Just settling down to be intimate with someone, I want to but I'm tired and not really into it, and it reminds me of when my abuser wouldn't accept no. I'm sick of this. I hope the letter comes soon from the hospital with my referral date. The thoughts of self harm aren't going away and the thoughts of a permanent escape are getting more appealing again. I have no intention but the thoughts won't shut the hell up.

    1. Me89

      Me89

      Sorry to hear you are struggling so and that the flashbacks are so strong. I hope they settle down for you soon. We need you to stick around ((hugs))

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

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