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About dieter

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    Computer, reading, learning, spending time in nature

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  1. Welcome to the forum. Sorry you are going through. I can relate lot of feelings you are describing. What helped me a great deal is slowly sharing some of the things that happen to me and getting lots of support here. Coming here I seeking out is the first step of many. You are not alone.
  2. My csa screwed up myself as a person. It went so young into me that its hard to remember how I was before it. Sometimes I struggle to which part of my personality and behaviour is part of myself and which is due to the abuse.
  3. I think about it whenever I am not distracted by something. I would definitely say its intrusive and I cant stop thinking about it. It always starts with a random thought and pulls me down more and more like a downward spiral. I dont want to think about it but I cant help myself. Sorry you are going through the same.
  4. Hi dieter, I was glad to see your posts and I agree with lot of what you said about male survivors. I needed to hear that.

    1. dieter


      I am glad I could make a difference :)

  5. Welcome to the forums. Glad to hear you found your way here. We all tell ourselves for some time we are lucky and it could have been worse. Its a common way to cope with all after the abuse. I hope you feel comfortable here and found a place to share.
  6. Welcome to the forums. I can relate to the feeling of being judged. It was very hard for me to open up to people here because I was afraid what they might think of me. People here are not judgemental and that really helps. I was kind of surprised everytime I shared something deep other people responded who felt the same. Take your time in opening and be assured nobody here will judge you.
  7. Welcome to the forums. This community helped me a great along my healing. Hope it will do the same for you.
  8. Welcome to the forum. Its a big step to come out here and share with other. You will find lot of supportive people here. Hope you are doing alright
  9. I am not sure if cope so well or not I guess I just try to go forward one day at a time. Sleeping can really be tough sometimes. What helped me to sleep is having a little bed light for some time. I also try to focus my mind on something until I am so exhausted I just go fall asleep. I like to watch something cheery before going to sleep. I noticed whatever I fill my mind with really affects my sleep. What also helps is making my environment safe. I always close all my windows and doors. I dont know why but it makes me feel much more safe. Other then that patience is crucial. Its common go through some phases where sleeping is so hard. Maybe try lots of different stuff it can take time until you find whats working for you. Most important thing is be easy on yourself.
  10. Welcome to AS. I am sure you find here the support you are looking for. Glad you came here.
  11. Welcome to AS. I can relate to that. Seeing how much of my daily life was affected by something that happened so long ago also brought me here. I found the support and experience of other members here very helpful. Hope you find here what you are looking for.
  12. Sorry that happen to you. Had something similar happen to myself. I am glad you were able to share this with someone its the first step. Hope you are doing alright. Reach out in the forums whenever you need some support.
  13. Welcome to the forum. Glad to hear you finally reaching out to someone. People here are very nice and supportive. You are not alone.
  14. welcome to the forum. I am sure you will find this as a place of great support. Dont worry about giving too much information I do it all the time. I can relate to your problems with your mom. My mother was also very emotional abusive with me and I was always the scapegoat. I am glad you finally found someone who treats you good. Good luck with finding a new therapist.
  15. Welcome to the forum. Im glad you learning how to deal with this. People here are very supportive. Hope to hear from you soon