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About Conqueror8:37

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    Missouri, USA
  • Interests
    Singing at my church, writing, reading, being mom.

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  1. Beautiful! Makes me want to get back to Michigan's Upper Peninsula.
  2. Vermont, welcome to AS. so sorry you need this place, but it's a great place to be.
  3. Sitting with you. It can overwhelm when the memories surface again. No matter what happened, you were not to blame. You deserved to be respected.
  4. My T has more or less told me I have PTSD. I have most of the symptoms (except drug/alcohol struggles). I get it. But I hate the label. Like ADHD and peanut allergies. I'm not saying those aren't real. It's just... it seems some people are eager to label themselves, to identify themselves by their labels. Elementary classrooms and lunchroom tables are designated as "peanut free zones" (i get it, I really do). The majority of kids on meds for ADHD don't even have the actual condition (I wish I had the study in front of me).

    However, those who have PTSD, for the most part, really have it. It's part of their lives. It's part of MY life. But I shy away from the label. I don't want to "give in" to it. I don't want to be identified by it. Like most others, I wish I could wish it away. But for now, it has a grip on me. OK,

    I am suffering PTSD, but I will heal.

    I am gripped by PTSD, but I resolve to become free from it.

    PTSD is painful to endure and work through, but it will not define me.


  5. Hi Sylph, and welcome to AS. I'm so sorry for what you went through, but glad you found this place. You will find many who understand and will support and encourage you in your journey. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want or need. There is a great deal of love and support here. Safe hugs to you.
  6. Welcome, Strangeworld! There is great support here. Take your time and know that you are loved and valued here.
  7. Welcome LuLu! Many of us can relate to that struggle for support. They mean well but they just don't know what to say and say the wrong things. You'll find lots of understanding here at AS. So sorry that you NEED to be here, but very happy to have you join us. Safe hugs, if ok.
  8. Trying to envision what "healing" looks like. How will it look when I reach the other side?

    1. LuthienTinuviel
    2. limbodante


      Stronger colours, less fear, more confidence, and free laughter ^_^

  9. Welcome, Sara. I'm so sorry for what you went through. This community is very supportive and understanding and will be here to support and encourage you. Another forum is S Assault: different types. You may find one or more categories that you identify with. My you find hope and healing. --Kris
  10. Welcome Lotus19. I think nearly everyone is nervous about posting the first time or two. I'm pretty new here and I still get nervous sometimes but there is a lot of love and support here.
  11. I understand. You may have had counseling "back then" but the fact that you shut down indicates that as a child victim, your voice was not heard to a satisfactory level. You deserved to be heard and validated and believed and comforted. You STILL deserve that. That wounded part of you still needs to be heard. I'm still working through new memories and it's very hard work. I've had a LOT of sleepless nights and rough days. You're not alone, even if you feel that way. I also feel such terrible loneliness. It's very normal. Yes, you were hurt really bad. I'm so sorry you were hurt. You deserve to be heard. I'm hoping you'll find a safe place to begin finding your voice. I think that's a huge thing about the name of this website After Silence. We're here to listen. Take your time. Let yourself begin to heal.
  12. My name is Kris. I'm 45. I was abused when I was four by a 14 year-old male babysitter. I didn't remember anything until I was 19, but very little. The last several months, the memories have come and I'm getting counseling. I know there is tremendous healing on the way but in the meantime, it's very much like wading through a cesspool and my feet can't reach the bottom. I know I'll get there.
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